Kababloghan

Lost in GPS Translation (It's a beautiful day)

2011-02-07T02:39:00.001-06:00

I've incorporated one of my old entries in my FB blog. This is how hubby and I travel.

I have wasted a great amount of time and aggravation because we got lost in the labyrinth backwoods of Tarrant, Hood, & Johnson's county. I don't understand how we got lost when I have all the print out from Google map, wikimapia, mapquest, and the most beloved gadget of all time....GPS!??? Oh yeah, the GPS that has a 5 seconds delay, and if you're traveling @ > 40 MPH, will lead you to dinosaur footprints-you-are-lost-somewhere-in-Texas. It also send shiver down my spine, that I'm traveling with a Jurassic homo sapien driving my SUV, its almond shaped eyes squinting (I wonder if he can see the road), and smoke comes out of its nostril (lol). I was armed with my GPRS/EDGE/wifi enable quad band phone with a strong signal, and that we are still in the 21st century hobnobbing the microwave somewhere within the 5 mile radius of a cell phone tower, as I sing Round and Round by Spandau Ballet. Meanwhile, me think that it should be a good idea if we also travel back in time...like Back to the Future kind of story, when I was young and innocent, and hubby hasn't been born yet!
But seriously, how can aliens find our planet, and yet, we can't easily find the place that we had planned for days to visit? Are these places in stealth mode? How did our Malayan ancestors reach our 7100 Los Islas Bonita Philippines by foot? How did the Texan back in the days traveled in their horses and carriages convincing themselves that they will be able to get out of Texas without hitting a wall? Did they dip their forefingers with their saliva, were they against the headwind? Or did they follow the tailwind of their horse's arse?
Since the triptik days of AAA began, I would give myself an hour leeway for my travel, because 99.9% that I will be off track. This will give me enough time to get to my destination at a planned and desired time.
I also had moments at an airport and I will give you a piece of advice. DO NOT (ever) TRAVEL half asleep during red light flight or you'll end up going somewhere. Well...I really don't think it was my fault. I didn't know that Dulles Airport plays musical chair after 10 pm . They've decided that a certain plane will go to a different gate, and my plane landed on a "far away land" gate, and not paying attention to the changes I ended up going to Newark, New Jersey instead of Syracuse New York(no wonder passengers were srurrying away like they've seen ghosts). I had a blast though. My ex picked me up (drove from Buffalo, NY all the way to New Jersey), and we decided to stay in NYC for a day via Holland Tunnel. Stuck in a traffic jam for over 3 hours, I counted the herd passing by on the left hand side, as they hover to the fast lane with their tollway pass, while my bladder is squeezing what has left of my brain, and sniffing away the delightful toxinogenic materials of the Jersey City's heavily laden factories. When we reached the city, I rewarded myself with tall buildings, swerving crazy cabs, the sewage smell, the hurried walks of New Yawkehs, and Chinese dim sum.

Have I learned anything from my previous and recent trips? A lot. I love the roadways and byways that I've set foot and traveled. As the sceneries passes by on my window, I've come to feel and appreciate the mental implants it brings, like cows lazying away underneath the shaded trees, the vast greeneries, dews, the smell of morning hays overlapping manure, the heat emitted on the road, the peacefulness of an ocean that allays the anxiety of a death defying wish to drive State Route 1, the different formation of the stone mountain against the light of day, the old beaten car that have serviced its days.

I will be traveling again... soon! But for the meantime, I'll see you at a nearest mall!

After all.....

2011-02-07T02:29:00.002-06:00

After of a crazy hiatus...I now have a blog life. Actually, I continued my blogging in FB and left this for over a year.Nge! 2 years kaya. 2011 na pala. I am back, lubak!

43

2009-01-15T03:29:00.002-06:00

I lost one day after my birthday. Celebrated without the jest...for this is also the day, that I wish, I could be with my parents. How I miss them so much. So, even If I flood Mississippi, there's no way I can bring them back. I really thought that as you age and have your own family, you will never miss your parents. I was wrong. Must be an only child syndrome. I hope that I would never go thru this pain again.
Happy Birthday................

vacation plan

2009-01-10T09:11:00.004-06:00

I am so excited with my upcoming vacation next month. We're heading Vegas, baby! whooo whooaaa!!!
Instead of planning (I've lived in that holy land for 8 years...holy in the sense of flip food galore) about where to go and what to visit, I am planning where to eat! Anak ng teteng. My travel book consists of filipino food restaurant such as jollibee, goldilocks, red ribbon bakeshop, PinoyPinay resto, and my favorite chicken empanada at Valerio's in Charleston Blvd. Hay naku! I have to lose weight before I go there, so I can gain it back.

overheard from a drunk & incoherent 17 year old diabetic who attended a pharm party with his friends: " I LOVE YOU, MoM!"

Good day

2009-01-08T17:30:00.004-06:00

I am officially wide awake, had my early dinner, paying bills on line, dog near the door entrance of our room, while hubby vacuuming the floor. Got 5 days stretch ahead of me, meaning I am gonna be crabby by Sunday. Thank gawd there's no long weekend up ahead, or people will start bailing out from work as early as today.
Gotta prep myself up....against my will. Hubby driving me to work...as usual!

chief complaint: Foreign body possibly bb bullet inside her ear. Intervention prior to ER visit: Use of floor vacuum as a suction.
My response: Brain still have to process the whole entire thing!=))

Help Desk

2009-01-07T17:59:00.014-06:00

What would be the most logical thing to do about me, "having some brain infarct moment?"

I've been forgetting the names of my co-workers, could not find the right word to say at times, and just several mind lapses moment that I could just not figure out how in the world got me into this. I could not afford to have some kind of neurological issues, especially what half of my brain is telling me. Maybe, just maybe, I am lacking the vitamins that I need. Water perhaps? exhaustion? I would stare at the books that is sitting on my bedside table, and would memorize the entire story in my head, hoping that mental exercise would help. It's a recent memory, so it helps. Anyway, I will not divulge into this, as of yet. I don't want to see my husband upset inquisitive face when I don't feel good--- like a PMS headache or a simple flu like symptoms. I have to endure the pain without complaining. I've set the rules that I must not complain in front of him about health stuff. It is more heartbreaking to see your partner looking at you like a crazy fool, trying to analyze how bad your symptoms were, and wished that he'd rather have it than me. Couldn't even complain about how busy work is, because he had mention it to me once, that if only he can help me do half of my job at work to ease my load. Thoughtful. Arghh!
So for now, to divert me from thinking untoward health crap, I will for now, continue my saga by blogging. At least, when I become a mentally challenged old fart, I would simply go to my web page,and read all about me. LOL. And who knows, someday, like in 300 years, there will be a bazillionaire moron, that is looking for something to spend their spare change, and would read and publish my enigmatic piece of junk work, and my great great to the 10th degree relative will be proud of me. And I will become ~~NOT~~ famous in 25 AD.bwahahahahahahaha!

For the best part, I had a good shift yesterday. My usual amount of work in one place, is divided in to three in this area. Lurve it. The kicker, new OCD boss came in this morning, and was upset because there was a spill somewhere in the coffee machine and hasn't been cleaned. He, I must emphasize, verbalized that he made sure that lounge room was re-organized and clean when he left yesterday, and now, who JUST MADE THE SCHPILLLLLLL?? That cracks me up, almost peed in my pants. Whooaa there, I believe that this is the least problem you're going to tackle at 0630 hrs there big buddy (since when did he he get to be our housekeeper too??lolz). He needs a chill pill and a wake-up-and-smell-the-coffee-bean-no-caffeine-free-allowed-drink-for-you-for-the-entire-day reality there, while me & Billy where having our grand rolling of our eyes, laughing our arse off moment. I guess, I should mention to my boss, that his mother doesn't work there! ROTFL!!!!
Ahhh! I LOVE MY JOB!

"I need NITRO NOW!!!" ~Overhead from a patient that just walked in, in front of an ER registration.

The joy of being me

2009-01-06T15:38:00.006-06:00

Ahhhh....This year seems to be that... my being hopelessly romantic is boiling up the surface again. With the help of course by my doting and most consenting husband. RPattz on my laptop window, no comment with a funny grin. Re- reading my Austen's P&P, he just looked at me with a here-we-go-again-with-another-crazy-day-at-home eyes. Besides, obsessing read about crazy true love is free.
So before I started buying all Colin Firth's movie via itunes, I have to get prep for work tonight.

"Did you seriously just stomp your foot? I thought girls only did that in movies!" Jacob Black

Clickity, click, click

2009-01-03T14:57:00.010-06:00

During my younger odd years, I was known to be a Nancy Drew addict, and have read mostly all the romance ~~yuck~~ novel, including of that Austen's, Brontë's, Mills & Boon, et al (but no Bram's nor Rice). Mom was always hot on my trail because I would read these books, instead of my school books (have I mentioned before that I really don't have any interest in studies). I would not put down the more interesting book that I am reading until I am done. The only time that this ugly addiction crumbled upon me, is when the computer age started and it ruined my whole entire being. I became a net bug. I was just there. Leaving trails everywhere. The net informations that I get, gives me that little exciting jolt to braniac me. But it doesn't complete me.
Thank God for Barnes and Noble. I was like a kid in play land (Don't like libraries. It reminds me of being in college again, hushed by those ugly thick eyeglass rimmed librarian and the affluent medical students playing know it all for their revalidas). I used up all the reasons in the world to be at Barnes & Noble...like the book about---- bam! I'm there. Or the this series of books by----Ooopss I was just so there. Even the series of books that petrifies me about "rapture," 12 books purchased, read it in one week, What the hey, I like it there. Depression and some suicidal ideation, brings me to another level that I've got to read something in B&N, 2 caramel frap venti, 1 brain freeze moment, 1500 calories something later, I am still alive, books to read: so very priceless.
So last night, when we got to bed, I opened my mini note, bookmarked under Pride and Prejudice, hubby hissed about "don't wanna hear that click, click, click again," I giggled and responded, "you choose: mouse or Edward Cullen!?" He lifted his head & snoop, and tsked "Ga! Mr Darcy!"

Wishful Thinking

2009-01-01T22:34:00.003-06:00

The last month of the year is usually saved for all our wishes and promises that could or should be fulfilled at the start of the year. The first day of the year are usually reserved for our dreaded list to be thought over...and wished that we never promised to do. And so, I am sticking to what my New Year's sorta resolution.

1. I will still drink Coca-cola and never will I stop or no one can stop me.

2. I will never go on a diet! Hell to the NO!!!

3. I have a reputation to hold and no one can change me. (ha ha!)

4. No one can stop me from re reading my favorite books, that include the classic ones that I've read god knows how many times during my high school years.

5. I will maintain my flat affect persona.

tah tah

2008-12-31T18:28:00.002-06:00

I am saying goodbye to RAT YEAR....Hello Cow Year! Am not giving too mushy goodbyes for 2008.
Adios

Kacheapan ko

2008-12-18T12:07:00.003-06:00

Money saving tip:
Cooked something that would last for several days----
For the last 2 weeks we've gone to
1. Tinolang manok with steam rice--- 1 1/2 days
2. Lugaw with chicken -- 1 1/2 days
3. Beef Lasagna with Bechamel sauce --- 4 days
4. Pork Bihon ---1 1/2 days
5. Zuppa Toscana my version ---depending on who you're sharing with, 2days
China One Menu
3 pcs chicken wings (my fave) $1.95
steam rice $0.95

Movie Matinee $5.00

Not going anywhere for 11 days, afraid to spend savings---~~pissed off~~ priceless

waddup

2008-12-18T08:01:00.003-06:00

Putting myself in a public domain takes a whole lot of guts & gory! It is ironic to put a bit of my info in a milder version of myspace. A thing that my hubby literally abhor.
I haven't heard his verbal attack...as of yet...most likely, he's been busy doing more important stuff...like "how to pull car parts apart in less than 60 seconds." We have gone to "how to fix computer bug 101 my-style-not-yours," to "don't-do-it-just-throw-it-away-coz-your-a-girl" kinda relationship in the last 11 days. Thank Gawd I am so back to work, because if I'm not, I will unleash my selfish tyrant cracker in me, which has been suppressed for umpteenth million years (yeah! when the tablet was still a big stone wall!). I guess I just have to settle to one professed job...and that, to make them people happy. Yay!
So am I holding up? Pretty good, ey! I haven't done this thing before,wherein I've memorized literally the musical score of a movie. Sick!
Kidding aside, we kinda packed up some of our old clothes that doesn't belong to our ginormous ~~NOT~~ dressing room/closet.
Oh yeah....the move...the big move...percentage wise, we're up. 70% we're definitely heading towards not staying here in Good `ol Big country TX. Hopefully, summertime.
There is nothing, nowhere, nada, zip, zilch to hold back in this state. I have loved all my friends and co-workers, but I, just could not take it any longer....to be here. It has a bitter sweet piece of shit memory to me...if you know what I mean.
Yun lang, bow!

Ugh!

2008-12-17T07:14:00.012-06:00

During dinner at Tokyo One, I have this nagging question to my husband, "why I’ve fallen head over heels to Edward Cullen." His answer was a mild smirk on his face (It puzzled me so much that I’ve re-read again the entire 4 books on the course of 2 days, finding myself what the heck is the matter with me). Guessing that I won’t be able to get a good response from him, I ate my beef hibachi ravenously, to his surprise was…unusual. I, for the fact, don’t eat a lot. I take that back. I like sugary stuff. ~~The very reason why we don’t eat out a lot now.~~ I drink my calories. I am a hopeless Coca-Cola addict. I’d rather drink coke than to eat.

Finishing off my dinner with a cup of crème Brule, my eyes still engaged to his nonchalant choices of sushi and sashimi. Argh! Why am I acting this way towards a character of a book, but he can’t answer to my meaningless question, much more… bothered!

He stood up, and went to get his dessert. I am still spooning mine mindlessly. He came back and handed me another crème brule, and said, “Your favorite. Have some more. I know you don’t eat as much as I do, so please justify the reason why were spending money for this dinner!”
And I choke. Now I know the answer. Why I am so into this stupid Edward character.

I was a Bella with more turbulent painful experience. When my hubby came into my life, everything was wiped away and completely changed my perspective. I used to be clouded by any nonsensical acts. At my ~~young~~ age, he introduced me to subtle moral sense that I’ve lost thru the years of past ~~psychological and mental~~ abuse. He has this “flat affect” attitude to my overly sensitive issues such as age & weight limits, and gave me non approval responses to my paranoid views of social acceptance.
What about virtues of chastity? Smack right on my face when we were still seeing each other. In a world where I live in, (I really thought that he was impo---t...crap! too much info!) it is but normal to… you know, not to be precisely specific here…please do not embarrass me, but it’s true.

And just like the character of that book, we have portrayed bits and pieces of their life, sans eternal damnation.

“I couldn’t see my future without having you in my life,” he said, many moons ago.
My gay flip lingo agile response… “Charing!”
Di ba ang drama!!

twiddle dee.....

2008-12-13T06:03:00.004-06:00

Trying to get my fever hyped emotion down over Twilight, I now gather myself together about what would be the days ahead. Work will not start til Thursday, but I couldn't keep myself still to where I need to go next. Ooppss! "WE." How selfish!
Hubby is not cooperative anymore with the repetitious soundtrack of Twilight. Forgive me, but as of this writing, I am still listening to the album. How cruel!
Supermassive Black Hole... my favorite. It is so edgy & dark. Use it on my work out. And it pumps me up in less than a minute. Dios mio!
Enihooters, he decided that we can probably go to Ice at Gaylord , that would be an awesome date.
"Wala kayang bampira doon?" ~~Asa ka pa!!~~

Moot

2008-12-12T11:08:00.005-06:00

Woke up early and read Midnight Sun draft at the author's website.
I thank my hubby last night for putting up with me for this week, for getting gaga over "Edward!" After watching the movie umpteenth million times (3rd pa lang), I completely satiated myself...I guess. As what my friend Don encompassed about my "teen aging" experience..."late ka na kasi eh!"
Just like what Bella said,--dazzling!

On the side: I breathe better now, kinda wheezy...but on the better side. Blame it on daily exercise!

?

2008-12-11T16:01:00.003-06:00

Hubby told me that we can watch a movie tonight!!!! He promised. He's just going to clean my car first, then go to see.......TWILIGHT again!
sickening, ey!

Satisfied

2008-12-10T18:49:00.002-06:00

Back from that sneak attack at the Studio Movie Grill.
Hubby greeted me half asleep.....what's my next adventure?
Meet me up in Oklahoma!

"Now I'm a fat house cat, Nursing my sore blunt tongue" ~ from the song flightless bird american mouth

Done!

2008-12-10T15:29:00.004-06:00

Done with the last book (ang daming panggulo! waste ng time sa pag babasa ang ibang chapter!)....hubby is taking a nap, and I am bored. Sneaking out to Studio Movie Grill to watch Twilight ~~again!~~. TTFN!

Maybe

2008-12-10T06:21:00.004-06:00

Great! I'm in love....falling.....arghhhh....
he just reminds me of that ~~someone~~....

do i need to worry????

Ahhh....soothing....Love Me

What's next

2008-12-10T02:53:00.002-06:00

Finished the 3rd book of the twilight saga an hour ago. I am about to start Breaking Dawn. Sickening, right? Bought the book Monday, and I am almost done. Sometimes, I hate the bookworm in me.
Burp!

3rd book

2008-12-09T04:58:00.004-06:00

And so, the officially 3rd day off. I am about to start the third book of twilight saga - Eclipse. Husband enjoying what he sees in the house, that I am just here, just being with them. Have not gone out yesterday. Sucky, but enjoying every minute of it. Once in a while, I would watch youtube for different twilight excerpts. Oh yeah...and that "supposedly" lullaby....it's very calming. Very Edward. Great! Back in a few.
To the bat cave.
Am i acting like a teenager?
BTW, listen to the audio (River flows in you by Yiruma)I embedded. Kinda dark & melancholic. Suits me well...

Bite me

2008-12-08T14:18:00.003-06:00

In less than 12 hrs, I engulfed the entire Twilight book, and I am now up for the second book which is the New Moon. My husband begged me to slow down, because of my long days off. So i kinda like reminded him about my compulsiveness about reading books. Once I am hooked, I will be his dear hermit. For now, the Cruz' clan is on standstill, until I get my senses back. But for now, I have a date with Robert Pattinson aka Edward Cullen.
I shouldn't watched that movie!

very busy

2008-12-08T01:38:00.002-06:00

I had a blast last during the black friday sale. JP got his stuff under $50 bucks, and I got my Coach bag for less than $160. lolz.
There are some work event that I hate to discuss here because, seriously, it is nobody's business.
I am off for 11 days, and I will try to finish the 4 twilight saga. I am a little OCD when it comes to reading books. I just don't want to be bothered.
I'll see you guys around.....

Farm Pharm Party Part 2

2008-11-25T09:56:00.011-06:00

While use of illegal substances like speed, heroin and pot has declined over the past decade, abuse of prescription drugs has increased sharply.

In today's world, people including children cope up with their life's misery thru the help of prescription or illicit drugs.
Thus born a society of pill poppers. Attendies of Pharm parties. School kids Fruit Salad parties. Alcohol binging parties. Parents who are not aware of this, please be mindful of your children activities. I am tired of looking at a hapless body of another young victim killed by ingesting of unknown substance. When is this going to stop?

"Now what is that again you're chewing? Dried Mango?"

Farm Party part 1

2008-11-14T13:46:00.017-06:00

Back in the old days, my summer time means, spending time with my relatives in Negros Occidental, and be able to learn the ilonggo language.That means, having to spend 3 months with my cousins in this manner:
To wake up early morning, so we can ~~wash our clothes~~ frolick sa suba (on the river) all day . We pack food that we are going to cook, like pospas (congee), sinugba nga Tilapia (Grilled tilapia), or just nilaga nga sab-a ( boiled banana). We would stay in that river `til my tiyay (aunt) will call us holding a barakol (dried tubo) ready to whip our arse. In the afternoon, we listen to the Bacolod's drama radio, while one of my cousin will iron our clothes using an iron heated by charcoal fire.
While the elders are taking their daily afternoon nap, we kids will start traversing my grandmother's house surrounded by fruit trees consists of lumboy (blue plum), sab-a (bananas), mangga (mangoes), langka (jackfruit), and root vegetable like balinghoy (cassava), kamote (sweet potato). We could always come up with different meriendas. My personal favorite: Linupak nga sab-a, (mashed banana with the use of a big wooden mortar). Ingredients: Saba, brown sugar, grated coconut, and star margarine. The finished product is placed on a banana leaf. We will gather ourselves around it, and will tear the banana leaf with linupak to our desired portion. By the end of the day, we have no appetite for dinner due to the massive carb attack during oldies siesta time (Now you know why your kids don't eat their food at supper time).
Plenty of games awaits us around 5`ish. But as a teenager, and crushes galore, we opted to hang out in the middle of taytay (bridge), talking about boys, holding a bag full of Jingle songhits & songbook, a guitar is passed around (all of us knows how to play guitar)~~wala pa kayang karaoke noon!~~, and we sing the like of Janis Joplin, America, Beatles, Bread, Carol King, Janis Ian, Journey, Chicago, Boz Scaggs and sometimes, not all the time....a suicidal Sharon Cuneta song. Personal Favorite: We're all alone by Boz, At Seventeen by J. Ian, If you leave me now by Chicago. Good impact to my youth....
During the month of May, and on weekends, a hacienda nearby will host a dance party, and we prod our tiyays and tiyoys (our aunts and uncle), to allow us to go to the Bay-le (barrio dance party). After dinner and a quick shower, off we go to the hacienda which consist of 15 minutes walk and run (my male cousins will usually scare us with the sound of tik tik (bird).
Although I don't dance, I savor the moment to spend time with my secret crush who would join us in our table `til wee hours, talking nonsense (this would take forever if I start talking about him!).
Pretty much, this is how I spend my summer in Hda. Colisap #1, Silay. The memory lingers on, and will never be forgotten.

to be continued....

*I would like to thank the owners of the pictures that I took from different website without their permission. The pictures were used to depict only the image of the said fruit/vegetable and not for commercial purpose. Thank you.

There ain't no bugs on me

2008-11-11T07:21:00.010-06:00

A nervous face...unapproving smirk!

For several weeks now, we're trying to analyze why wiggles has itchy spells. We've been to the veterinarian and he was given a steroid and an antibiotic shot which afforded short relief, and for the last 2 weeks, he's been nursing a hot spot in his back. So, off we go again to the vet. Advised: Bathe dog every 2 weeks only, instead of twice a week, and most likely poopsie has a bad allergic reaction to fleas ~~he found 1 or 2 after going to the dog park~~ . Verdict: Another steroid shot, a pill for fleas for 6 months, and we bought a shampoo and essential oils. Last night he was still sporting his buster collar, no appetite except for cookies. Today, as I was prepping myself for my exam tomorrow, he finished his Beneful meal (laced with the anti flea pill), came up to my lap, gave him a good massage for about 30 minutes, dozed off, and still sleeping after I lay him down on top of our couch throw pillow. He is very precious. He gave us unconditional love, and we're grateful to give the same in return.

Finally got some sleep without a buster collar!

IMHO

2008-11-07T15:34:00.006-06:00

My writing started when I was left alone in DFduh in early 2005. Thrown with loneliness and a brand new apple imac, I blogged. I blog incessantly, with nothingness on my mind. I’ve described rainfalls, traffic, buildings, how I sleep, what I cooked, morons, anything under the sun, that would come to my infarcted brain.
Shit happened. I cried, I laughed, I got drunk, I drove myself to a crazy spell, running the maximum speed ~~in I-35 hoping that state trooper will stop me and put me in jail if I don’t get killed~~ and my doctor put me on anti-hypertensive and a happy pill to turn off my melancholic state, and I blogged. Because there was no physical human to interact with, I guess that was the first time that I got so lonely and misunderstood.
I coped up after several months selling my “uppers” (nah!). Received a happy (the person that sending me was happy, not me) email in May 2006, triggering my depression again. And I blogged.
Life goes on…and here I am. Started with few followers, I erased some of my entries, pictures, stopped here for a while and continued blogging somewhere else, and now back here again, updating what’s on with my everyday life, copied and published some emails if I have a brain drain moment, or if I am pissed off like this.
So here I am again, slightly offended by a remark in one of the comments of a blogger in another blog site. It’s about amount of readership you can have in your own blog aka popularity issue.
I must say that I defy being popular. With all due respect, there are some facts that you have not considered. I like to maintain my anonymity and my elusiveness when it comes to my personality and my writing.
The vast issues written in my blog, are my personal opinion/observation/experience/experimentation, and not intended for a massive online debate nor to enthrall the gods of misfortune. Wala akong editor at pera if I get sued.
I also respect most of my underground followers who would buzz me in my YM about their disgrace of my writing ~kesyo "mabagal akong magsulat," or "busy ba ako," or may "PMS ka na naman!" to e-mails (that I kept in one folder to be re read umpteenth million times) on how they reacted to a certain topic, tried a recipe, co-workers who ~~snoop~~ would text me "you crack me up," EX that can't burn their bridges, and still wants to know what I am up to, friends who consoled me in my time of need, and my husband who supported my craziness, and ready to fire me once our personal space and face is exposed!
Yes dear, they are not that plenty. In fact, I can count them with my fingers in both hands. But I like my little community. Personal & humble.

P&G scandal! lol

2008-11-07T04:13:00.007-06:00

For all the ~~women~~ blogger out there. Please read.
Copied from my email for the whole blog roll to see.

AN OPEN LETTER TO
MR. JAMES THATCHER,
BRAND MANAGER,
PROCTER & GAMBLE.

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core™ or Dri-Weave™ absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?

As brand manager in the feminine-hygiene division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from Aunt Flo. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in capri pants. Which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."

Are you fuc**ng kidding me?

What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness—actual smiling, laughing happiness—is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlúa and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreens armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man. If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong"? Or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your accounting department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flexi-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bullshit. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,

*$#Q$_Q$Q%&#*Q@%

Sabaw of the day

2008-11-06T09:08:00.012-06:00

Bata pa ako, lagi na lang sinisiksik ng nanay ko ang mga pagkain na ~~kinasusuklaman ko~~ hindi ko gusto, at dahil dakila naman akong uto-uto, shempre pa kinakain ko.
#1 on my list is Kalabasa. As in Vitamin A~ pampalinaw ng mata.
"Tingnan mo si Perla Adea, ang ganda ng mata, kasi kumakain sya ng kalabasa!" ~My Mom
#2 Pag inom ng hilaw na itlog gabi gabi. I friggin hated it. Pero, payatut talaga ako noon, at ang goal ni mudra eh patabain ako ng konti with protein ek ek. Saan ka nakakita ng batang nakababad mag damag sa lababo na puno ng tubig at doon sine serve ang pag kain nya gawa sa binola bolang kanin at pritong itlog (sunog ang puti, hilaw ang pula) araw araw? As in everyday. Pramis. Pahirap ba ako sa magulang ko?
#3. Whole milk every morning. Yuck. Salamat na lang at nag karoon ako ng lactose intolerance. Nawawala lang ang allergy na yon, pag me craving ako ng ice cream. Di ba!
#4 Fishda~ oh my freaking gulay. I am not a big fan of fish. Balat lang ang kinakain ko sa isda. (ang arte ko noh!)
#5 Vitamins (yung capsule na colorless at kita laman...tawag ata doon cod liver oil)~ in different sizes and form and lots of bad after taste~ Di ko alam bat ganun si mudra. Pag bata ka, sunod ka na lang ng sunod, para wala ng gulo at palo.

SO now, nasa edad na ako na wala ng ibang minomonitor kundi ang retirement. Naalala ko si nanay at mga pag kaing binibigay nya sa akin. Hindi ko pa din naman nakakalimutan pa. In fact, favorite ko lahat ang mga food na pinag tulakan nyang ibigay sa akin noon. Hinahanap hanap ko pa. Ngayon, tuwing pupunta ako ng asian store, tinitingnan ko palagi ang kalabasa kung ok ang pag kakahinog nya, at isasama ko sa pagluto ko ng pakbet or gisadong giniling lang na may kalabasa. Ang itlog naman, lagi ko ring sinasama sa mga niluluto kong pansit o di kaya Arroz a la Cubana. Gusto ko pa din sa isda ay pinirito. Tapos isasawsaw sa maanghang na suka na may dinikdik na bawang. Shemps pa, palagi pa den akong nag va-vitamin. Centrum at Omega 3 (yung me aftertaste na isda!ewwww). bwehehehehehehe
Salamat Nanay,sa magaling mong pang uuto sa akin. Nagsilbing malaking tulong ang lahat ng masusustansyang pagkain na pinilit nyong ipakain sa akin. Dahil at my age, ~~22 turning 43 in 3 months~~ tuwid pa ang likod ko, ~~baby smooth~~ supple pa rin ang pwet ko sa matagal na pag kakaupo at pag bababad sa harap ng computer, at nakikita ko pa rin ang letrang binabasa at tinatype ko, kahit patay ang ilaw!

My Bouillabaisse life~
"Soup and fish explain half the emotions of human life."

Protest Vote

2008-11-05T03:08:00.011-06:00

~~I strongly believed that the author of this book will win the Presidential election 2008.~~ The Presidential candidate who wrote this book is our 44th President!!!

And now for the hard part....Obama has to deliver the change he promised. His challenge is to change the course of the government and guide it thru the hard times and past financial crisis he inherits as he takes the office. Aray!

I must confess that I was one of the few who did not go out and vote. I was so sick that I could hardly get up, but I thank God for the blackberry and hp mini note, I was able to keep myself in tune with the outside world.
To my blog acquiantance, Reynz, who fervently monitored his Obama from dawn to his deep sleep, from Dunkin to Wawa, Roy Rogers to Jollibee, In & Out Burger and Whattaburger and to all silent Democrats who are tired of that long wait, Congratulations! Let us CHANGE FOR THE BETTER!!!

"Even as we celebrate tonight, we know that the challenges that tomorrow will bring are the greatest in our lifetime." ~ Barack Obama

And for me, mega work na ako...OT,OT, OT! Sign up for more OT!

Viral Syndrome

2008-11-03T08:19:00.004-06:00

Every fall season of the year, I would get a crud. Stuff that normal people will get and would immediately seek medical attention, and would ask for 1 week work excuse. For abnormal people like us in medical field, we still serve the masses with mask and dry hands, (from too much hand washing) wishing ~~that we will spread our dearly beloved virus to y`all~~ it will dissipate in 1 day (cant afford to miss work).
So, while I drown myself for not having a good sleep last night after my 6 hours princess shift, I was thinking about what's for breakfast. So, I made a spicy tinolang manok and added vietnamese bokchoy and sotanghon. With burnt tongue from tasting the visual delight that enticed me, I will now wake my majesty to share the newly reinvented "Soup du jour."

Blackberry Bubble

2008-11-01T14:24:00.010-05:00

Pixes on my cellphone....sans hubby & me. Bawal daw i publicize face namin. scawy, noh!

Blackberry Bubble

Cable TV

2008-10-31T11:00:00.009-05:00

I am very frugal when it comes to my utilities.Like my Cable TV is only $28.99. But now, the Cable TV owner wants me to upgrade our so called "analog" channels to Dish satellite (~~against my will~~) ~~meaning pag tinanggal nila ang analog ko, keri ako ng channel automatic pero ayaw nilang sabihin yon sa akin kunyari boplak ako~~ . I have few tv series favorites that I don't want to let go, and much to my so called difficulties right now, I made my decision to change it to DISH SAT anyway. Hoping that it will just stop moving around and keep my signal stable.

PS: I took care of a red power ranger and 2 little fairies today!

Do I really know where I am going to?

2008-10-24T05:07:00.004-05:00

Arrrrgghhh!
I am contemplating about another move. That is, to San Francisco (specifically, Vallejo area....Walnut Creek, American Canyon, Napa, still need to learn the counties).
Ewan ko ba. So now, I have written down the pros and cons that I need to reconsider. Things that I will forget and needed to be done. My hubby is excited and so do I. Location, location location. Geez....I've already acclimated myself in good `ol everything-is-big-here TX, then here I am, being swayed to the Golden State.
Texas broke my heart, and I still can't forget....

Please read the label

2008-10-14T10:42:00.012-05:00

I have a habit of marking all my work stuff and personal belongings.....but not with my name. All my co-workers are aware whose bag, belongings, calculator, cup, knick knacks that belongs to me.
Today, we had a staff meeting, and it so happened that I was (supposed to be) up and ready to leave, with 2 bags and a lotion that sits on top of my lunch bag that has a special label. One of the discussions in our meeting was not to bring your own B&B, VS, or wutevah perfume-y suppling agent (that triggers the noses of the trolls) that penetrates the gloves. And as my boss trying to give an example, "Not to leave your special lotion on the desk like: (picking up my lotion, and read the label)) MINE!"
bwahahahahahahahaha!
DI ba, Winner!

Marriage Warranty?

2008-10-11T08:49:00.015-05:00

Distraught will be the right word to use if I haven't logged in and blogged. For the first week of October, I have battled the PMS demon....that includes severe headache and I have to work and sustaining myself not to call in, suicidal thoughts, as I am about to go to my OB GYN and have them pull my uterus (that is my monthly ideation), or like a manananggal feeling, that is to put a bag of sea salt in the lower half of my body and marinate it for 7-9 days. I couldn't think straight, I can't make a good decision, I always have a hissy fit, but has to have a good face to front my hubby and not having this awful feeling obvious to him. The only thing I complained to JP was about the nagging headache that in all honesty, I could be the next CFO of Ibuprofen. Ibuprofen had been my best friend every 30 something days. Without it, I can see 8 stupid people in front of me instead of just 1. I've always thank God for it's worthiness and to that person who invented it.
Aside from managing my hysterics on PMS, I have thrown myself in a world of my friend's divorce. It must've been a couple of months that she's been bee buzzing with a co-worker, until her emotions poured on me as well.
Her moving out, my sinister-get-even actions against her soon to be ex, what to and what not had all been carefully planned by us three, with some interjection from the 3 men we've worked with (one a divorcee, the other is a 25 year old clueless single man, and a 30 sumthin' with a "co inhabitant") and my hubby who analyzes a plan B and the pessimistic side of it.
It's hard (could not really deal with it...honestly) to listen and to tell her to be strong. Having 3 kids with this situation, (they've been together for 24 years) must be overwhelming.
And so the move out happened yesterday. We packed what we can take. It was a messy getaway. The house was...in shambles. (The best way to describe) It was(the state of the house) a clutter...cluster f*ck. Even the Realtor who visited the century old house made a comment to "let go of the house!"
As we sat in the old wooden bench outside the doorway, right next to the neatly rows of garbage bags full of unfolded clothes, my brain had a relapse.
While my blogger's world are busy talking about the effect of the economy in their internet and real lives, I am witnessing broken family 101 Live. Earlier part of the loading, I was still aggressively huffing and puffing dreaming how to lose weight carrying several size 0 clothing, In a sudden turn, I am looking at a 16 year old boy who doesn't know who to turn to (father of course was somewhere in East Coast....having a grand time, not going home until Sunday), holding a temporary disconnected cellphone, crying and confused. My friend's face was covered with mixed tears and snot. Broke my heart. My husband heard their dog's whimpering inside the kennel, and lifted Pepper up to cuddle her. My eyes were misty. I heard everyone's breathing! We were on a standstill. I didn't know what to tell my friend. This is something that is not taught in combat, Not even my years of do'h experience will enhance my capability to utter a comforting word such as " it's ok...." F*ck. It is all f*cked up....and it is not OK!

Welcome to her new house.....
We forgot the gaddam dolly. 2 dollies and a big yea space in UHAUL and we left it in the old house.
We needed a break....pizza and coke for late lunch....it was a taciturn moment....

It felt like we were driving forever going back home. We're not talking. Got home, we sat in a couch, we're still not talking. We're looking in our silhouette on the TV's screen. My husband stood up and went to the bathroom. I heard his sniffles and the shower opened.
"Beh, maligo ka na!"

PS: Mercury Retrograde?
PS uli 10/13/08~ edited version

Screen shot of the idiot's website....emoticon shows how elated he was when he found out that his wife left him.

KabaBloghan

2008-10-01T12:35:00.003-05:00

How many times do I have to change the title and the description of my blog? Kaloka!

Girls day out (with the boys!)

2008-09-25T05:30:00.024-05:00

I've enjoyed my rest(?) day yesterday, despite the fact that half of the time, I was in meat and alcohol limbo. Overall, we had a good time.
The usual topic was food over food. Awesomely, my crazy work peeps had been craving for my Arroz a la Cubana. My (instant) dish that I usually cook with no frills...or should I say "pag nag mamadali ng kumain at walang ulam at hihimatayin na si bossing" was raved over the enormous non-stop serving of house special picanha (what's wrong with this group?).

They (3 of them) actually made it over the weekend, trying to jazz it up, but were not able to acquire the same substance in their palate. So, I gave them a word of advice (ek ek). "Follow the recipe," in Terminator's voice. Although it is a simple sauteed ground meat, the mélange of the ingredients intensifies the taste, add an oven top grill chiquita banana and you will just crave for more.
Enihoot, $40 anda (ming kinain ko, nyeta) later and drifting away in far away Condom Sense store, we headed out to Irving for a nail...or should I say, sat in an invigorating vibratory chair while they service us for our pedicure bonding moment. We were zonked ( worked the night before, and me as a DD) with a little brazilian ETOH on board that they claimed not to be strong (so wrong...way too wrong!)... I hurriedly sober up in my chair (while I am measuring up the pathways of alcohol metabolism...the bad thing was...I fast the day before, so sucky sucky, meaning sobering up aint happening soon). So based on whatever law that is.....weight vs height (mass per mass), buzzing..... amount of alcohol,zzzzzzzzzzzz... no exercise person vs fasting & fast eating (love that crispy fat side of picanha)....buzzz.... at a dissipation rate of around 0.015% per hour...buzzzz....and then..... I saw my pink toe nail with flowers and I was elated. More please.
Off we go to Cheesecake Factory in Arlington.
The joy it brings. BAR MENU from 4pm-6pm. Attagirl! You can do it. I had a Georgia Peach (because I'm peachy), and buttahofcourse....my Chocolate Mousse Cheesecake. TO die for. And I did.
Next stop, State Fair of Texas. Oct 9....and it is a Thursday...we're gonna have a party! It's a Thursday. Yikes. Chicken Fried Bacon, & Fried Banana Split come to mama! (Am I going to overdose my Omega 3 again....felt that fish burp!)

I'm the DD.... ugh gyen.
PS: I like..........

Fogo de Chao (yummylisciousness)

2008-09-22T08:23:00.009-05:00

Below is my e-vite to my co-workers who are killing their bootylisciousness off.

Census wise, we've been up to >100 average every day. Nabawasan ng konti sometimes, kasi nga me laro kaya ang mga CowGheyz. So on Wednesday, mag papaka glutton ako, like there is no tomorrow. Burp!
Nulla per orem for 2 days! Hello Gaucho!

Craving for this....

2008-09-18T15:35:00.003-05:00

Wala lang. I'm just craving for Arroz a la Cubana (My mom's style...kaya lang I prefer burnt dry fried banana), but hubby wants to eat at Tokyo One, so doon kami mamaya for dinner.

Project Runway Philippines Quotable Quotes

2008-09-17T04:36:00.018-05:00

I am a has been viewer of Pinoy Telebisyon....so passe na ako sa mga balita. I guess the only reason why I subscribed a fil channel on the internet, is because I got so addicted with that drama ( I was forced into it, and got hooked) "Sa Piling Mo" couple of years back (farts! Can't believe it has been 2 years ago) with Judy Ann Santos and Piolo Pascual. Well... I was depressed then... and life was a blur, and blah blah blah...and crap!
Enihooters, again...I am hooked...with Project Runway Philippines. And no, I am not having bipolar moments. I just want to capture the gayness moments I've seen during each episode.
I would like to thank sweetproject, for allowing me to use her(his?) videos for my screenshots.
I did not capture the catty part of the show. I love all the contestants, and I am only going to use the funny anecdotes and not the "tongue-lashing" biatchiness.

Also, please don't forget to watch (kahit late na) Project Catwalk Season 3 (UK version of Project Runway). I guess it was shown early part of the year, and their winner........surprise!

"Anything can be a suppository if enough force is applied!" unknown mcc

"To Arnel Pineda Fans!"

2008-09-12T13:09:00.023-05:00

TO ALL AP FANS: "READ WELL AND THREAD CAREFULLY!!!"
If you have noticed, I tried not to post here my AP Official Website (ek ek) sentiments. One thing kasi, if I say something bad, I will be persecuted by my kapwa Pinoys. My grip in my previous posts were the exact opinion of one of their forumers sa AP website. At yun....as in kinatay sya ng mga FANS! In fact his/her views were right....anything waaaay in excess is tooooo freaking much. Nakakainis. Nakakapika. Nakakasawa. Tama na. Itigil na. Hindi lang kasi kayo kayo ang gustong mag join sa topic eh. Me ibang tao din na gustong i appreciate ang talent ni Arnel eh ang kaso....namomonopolize ng kung anu-anong ka dramahan ang thread ng ibang forumers!!! PRAMIS. Hindi nyo lang pansin, pero pansin ko at napansin din ng iba.
At, it gives lines/boundaries to some who would like to appreciate his music. The same group that protects Arnel Pineda's legacy, will be the same people that will bring him down. Sana, hinay hinay lang sila sa post, or di kaya, ang administrator nito dapat naglagay ng category about...."birthdays, prayers, concert, favorite food, being sick....etc...etc...etc" Mali eh...sadyang mali. And I feel bad for this person that they attacked.
Even one forumer wished him/her dead (Mabuhay! Ang tatapang talaga). Pinagbintangan din syang nag palit ng nickname na similar sa isang terrorist group sa `Pinas, or someone na fired out after Steve Perry.

I hope this will change, pero if ever na mabasa nila ang blog na to.... I will bet my cute ass that it will be on fire. I welcome all comments and interrogations. And if they ban my IP there...really....who gives a crapiolla!?

PS: Sinong gustong humada at mag interpret ng sinabi ko in english...sa ngayon kasi medyo kurtado utak ko at imbyerniks sa mga chuva na itesh! Anyone....someone...haller....Reyna Elena?? PussyCat???
Yun lang pow!
PPS: Wag korekin ang english and gay lingo ko....capture ko lang sabi ni BB:
"My opinion is like a butt, everybody has one..."

Duguan

2008-09-10T11:59:00.004-05:00

Ilang araw na palang sumasakit ang ulo ko at hindi ko matiyak kung ano ang dahilan nito.
Ipagpaumanhin ninyo mga giliw kong taga pag basa ng aking panunulat. Sa dahilang nakakapagod din namang mag muni muni ng salitang banyagang iaangkop ko sa aking talataan. Sa totoo lamang, nakakapagod ring mag isip sa trabaho, lalo na at ang iyong mga kasama ay ibang lahi at walang isa mang nagsasalita ng sarili mong wika. Pagkaminsan, kailangan ko ng katinuan ng utak, tinatawagan ko ang aking kabiyak, at pag nag uusap kami sa sarili naming wika, hinahamak ako at sila raw ay nag mimistulang tanga sa dahilang hindi nila maintindihan ang aking minumutawi.
Tangna naman! Kasalanan ko ba kung iisang lenggwahe lang ang nalalaman niyo. Kita nyo na ngang dugong dugo na ang ilong ko sa pakikisama sa inyo, at heto kayo, kukumustahin ko lang ang aking kabiyak, nag mistula na kayong mga kampon ni Hitler.
arrrrgh (marikit na bersyon!)....
Pangalawang araw ko ng pamamahinga, at ano itong aking pinag kakausyosohan. Walang humpay na pag babasa ng iba't ibang panulat sa "internet!" Nakakapanibago at nakakagalak, lalo pa't ang pananalita'y angkop sa masayahing bayotin. Ako ay naaliw, at aking sinubaybayan ang lahat ng kanyang mga talata at mga kakaibang balitaktakan mula sa kanyang mga tagapag subaybay. Kung tutuusin, halos hindi na ako nakapag pahinga sapagkat, iyon lamang bukod tanging ginawa ko mula pag kagising ko kagabi.
Marami pa akong dapat na subaybayang anekdota ng iba't ibang tagapag sulat.
Mawalang galang lamang po, subalit ika labing dalawa na ng tanghali, at ito'y oras na ng aming tanghalian.
Ipag paumanhin lamang po at isasantabi ko muna ito. Sa uulitin. Mabuhay po ang bawat Pilipino. Mahalin ang wikang pambansa.

Pahabol Sulat:
buyoy!

Die with a T

2008-09-04T22:59:00.009-05:00

Today is the start day (and had been everyday) to go on a full swing dieT. Amazingly, in my 42 earthling years, I've probably lost a total of 500 pounds from the different diet I've tried in the last decade and I should be hanging in one of my necklace charm, but this time, I want to be successful (Nyah!).
Ms. K reiterated that I need to keep a journal for my diet plan. One thing for sure, I can't keep up when it comes to writing a journal. With this big flab jiggly flip bod, I am also fully loaded and upgraded myself with all sorts of ailments namely, tendonitis, some sort of carpal tunnel syndrome, hypertension and peripheral edema. God knows what else I can load up to this tiny frame, and hopefully I won't be looking like a Japanese car with some kind of subliminal emblem that says “Big fat ass!"
My plan is to go back to my Filipino diet~ that is, frequent healthy meals. Hopefully, my body will not be able to recognize that I am actually eating healthy food and will not reject myself.
Now....my worries is that our rice bin is still half full ( I didn't say half empty for I don't want to be pessimist!), so I have a long way to go before I can actually finish it up! Nyahahahahaha. I am not feeling helpless....not at all....In fact I was dreaming that I was attack by different kinds of asian foods, that I woke up feeling full to my stomach! Nah. But.... "eat I must!"

Think about it. Rice exists in many climates, needs no refrigeration and has no natural enemies. All you do is add water - and water - and - water - and water....~ Erma Bombeck

Quality time

2008-09-04T14:02:00.017-05:00

Pictures speaks louder than words!

Belated

2008-09-03T04:40:00.011-05:00

My mom would've been 78 yrs old yesterday, but she decided to retire early 3 years ago and joined my father where there's no network whatsoever that could reach them. I miss them...so much....especially that I am their only child. Reminiscing would be the hardest thing to do without working out my tear duct, so, I tried to mask my emotions by forgetting certain days of the year, such as her birthday, their wedding anniversary, my dad's birthday....and even sometimes....my own natal day. Yesterday, I guess she reminded me of it, coz all of a sudden, I blurted out to my hubby that we will be eating out for nanay's b-day; unfortunately, he had some appointments to commit, so we will be eating out for lunch today instead. And why the heck I am still awake at 0506 hrs...no clue.

Nay, thank you for taking care of the cut in my forehead when I was little. It was dad's fault when the ceiling fan fell. He didn't fix it well. I am so sorry for crying for hours and kept you up all night back then, but I must say, Magnolia Chocolait does keep a wailing child go down. I hope all is well up there. I heard you guys are enjoying your staycation. Must be nice, huh. Oh well....someday, I will be joining you and we will play catch up. But for the meantime, imma take care of my hubby. He doesn't want me to go there yet....he said he'll be ready to let go of me when he's 100 (that means to say I'll be 115...yikes!). Today, he fixed my toothbrush, you know, the kind that you put in a charger stand. I thought I broke it `coz everything just won't connect together. Come to find out, I put everything backwards. If you have time to visit us, please do so, because I am loving every encounter my husband had. When I get home from work, he swears that he saw someone sitting in our living room. Just don't scare him that much. My own belief stops me from seeing you guys, but I guess, your son-in-law has a third eye. Later!

my predicament

2008-08-31T07:33:00.011-05:00

Should we:
...laugh at the troll that walks in, holding a bottle of silk worms, bringing the entire family to be seen for recurrent non-healing sores?
...mock the stupidity of the parents that comes in at 2 in the morning, rushing their child that has an insect/mosquito bite?
...get mad at a frequent flier middle aged woman with a headache of over 2 weeks, who sought help to different specialist and didn't find anything wrong with her?
...be pissed off on a 52 year old man who can't use the triage door, instead insisted to get in to the ambulance bay because he has "severe chest pain" unrelieved with several narcotic pain medicine?
...get tired of taking care of the frequent flier quadriplegic who apparently fakes his seizures or the morbidly obese woman who has a trache and always has shortness of breath?

Many have lost their integrity in their profession. A lot of it may be blamed from the different kinds of abuses encountered.
And in (the Pollyannaism World) our line of business, "we can just pretend that we really care for our clientele."( perceived from the principal's office...shhhhh).

Meanwhile, I am doing my reality check. So far, of my xx years of service, pretending is not part of my job description. Tragically though, I will be encountering more of (ugh)idiosyncrasy, not the clients, but with the gods. And with the help of the Almighty Higher Ups, may I not stroke out and hit my head on the ground when I get to see or talk to the sourpuss (again), because even in my reincarnation, I don't wanna be like them, "the deity of morons."

"When you look for the bad in mankind expecting to find it, you surely will."
Abraham Lincoln, Inscription on Pollyanna's locket, a gift from her father~ Pollyanna is a best-selling 1913 novel by Eleanor H. Porter

Find the difference, Kuya Bodjie

2008-08-28T12:11:00.012-05:00

My evaluation was completed at 8am today. Done and over with. All I have to do is to wait for my (?)pay raise(?) and another year of "I told you so!" blah blah blah.
I was upset when I walked out of the office of my director. She claimed ( as told by a mole or a snitch, she was just there not more than 2 months...oh yeah ) that there's a "clique" on NOC shift. So, Ms. ---- suggested that if we are going to order food, if we hang out, if we, if we, if we.......
So this is what I told her...."I didn't know that I am back in high school. I am so sorry that in my past life I didn't play with Samwel and Nadjia." " You see, they speak karay-a when they play and I feel alienated." " I can't understand a word they say, but I don't wanna go to your office just to let you know that they don't want to play with me and they speak martian when you're not around, so, I just go out in the street and find me another playmate." " So if my playmates start to congregate and talked about Thess has a nipple ring, or that Jhunior impregnated another schoolmate of ours (and it's not his girlfriend), or if Jarjar was a bastard, or Jabba d hut just had a divorce....it's none of my business what these people wants to do with their lives, and I have no intention of sharing any of these information to every living critter that passes by me on the face of the earth. what I hear from my playmates whispers has nothing to do with cliques. These are information that are personal and should not be shared for the entire mankind. So, no one should come in to your office and start singing "Cry me a river" just because they don't watch " Gossip Girl!" And neither do I. I just happen to sit in the business class and reading a blog (gotta find me another place to sit!) when Journey started singing. But that doesn't mean that I am a member of Journey. Getch mo ba!?
I've worked in a company with better incentives and benefits and more chaotic than where I am right now, but none of these immaturity occurred. NO BROWN NOSERS!
In general, I have a good evaluation. I told my hubby about the clique part and his take is...."enough of that bringing food for the entire nation."
Dang, he's always right!

BATIBOT

SCANDAL - an ER doctor & drug seekers

2008-08-26T08:12:00.005-05:00

It has been a busy week for me (not the kind of "census is up busy),so for now, I will copy and paste an article that I've read few days ago. There is no one to thank for the insight that this particular ER physician made, and I wish it does, so I can send him/her a thank you gift. I will be back as soon as I have the courage to write about a memory that had been brewing in my mind.
To the daring and courageous ....here it goes!

OK, I am not going to lecture you about the dangers of narcotic pain medicines. We both know how addictive they are: you because you know how it feels when you don't have your vicodin, me because I've seen many many many people just like you. However, there are a few things I can tell you that would make us both much happier. By following a few simple rules our little clinical transaction can go more smoothly and we'll both be happier because you get out of the ER quicker.

The first rule is be nice to the nurses. They are underpaid, overworked, and have a lot more influence over your stay in the ER than you think. When you are tempted to treat them like shit because they are not the ones who write the rx, remember: I might write for you to get a shot of 2mg of dilaudid, but your behavior toward the nurses determines what percent of that dilaudid is squirted onto the floor before you get your shot.

The second rule is pick a simple, non-dangerous, (non-verifiable) painful condition which doesn't require me to do a four thousand dollar work-up in order to get you out of the ER. If you tell me that you headache started suddenly and is the 'worst headache of your life' you will either end up with a spinal tap or signing out against medical advice without an rx for pain medicine. The parts of the story that you think make you sound pitiful and worthy of extra narcotics make me worry that you have a bleeding aneurysm. And while I am 99% sure its not, I'm not willing to lay my license and my families future on the line for your ass. I also don't want to miss the poor bastard who really has a bleed, so everyone with that history gets a needle in the back. Just stick to a history of your 'typical pain that is totally the same as I usually get' and we will both be much happier.

The third rule (related to #2) is never rate your pain a 10/10. 10/10 means the worst pain you could possibly imagine. I've seen people in a 10/10 pain and you sitting there playing tetris on your cell phone are not in 10/10 pain. 10/10 pain is an open fracture dangling in the wind, a 50% body surface deep partial thickness burn, or the pain of a real cerebral aneurysm. Even when I passed a kidney stone, the worst pain I had was probably a 7. And that was when I was projectile vomiting and crying for my mother. So stick with a nice 7 or even an 8. That means to me you are hurting by you might not be lying. (See below.)

The fourth rule is never ever ever lie to me about who you are or your history. If you come to the ER and give us a fake name so we can't get your old records I will assume you are a worse douchetard than you really are. More importantly though it will really really piss me the fuck off. Pissing off the guy who writes the rx you want does not work to your advantage.

The fifth rule is don't assume I am an idiot. I went to medical school. That is certainly no guarantee that I am a rocket scientist I know (hell, I went to school with a few people who were a couple of french fries short of a happy meal.) However, I also got an ER residency spot which means I was in the top quarter or so of my class. This means it is a fair guess I am a reasonably smart guy. So if I read your triage note and 1) you list allergies to every non-narcotic pain medicine ever made, 2) you have a history of migraines, fibromyalgia, and lumbar disk disease, and 3) your doctor is on vacation, only has clinic on alternate Tuesdays, or is dead, I am smart enough to read that as: you are scamming for some vicodin. That in and of itself won't necessarily mean you don't get any pain medicine. Hell, the fucktards who list and allergy to tylenol but who can take vicodin (which contains tylenol) are at least good for a few laughs at the nurses station. However, if you give that history everyone in the ER from me to the guy who mops the floor will know you are a lying douchetard who is scamming for vicodin. (See rule # 4 about lying.)

The sixth and final rule is wait your fucking turn. If the nurse triages you to the waiting room but brings patients who arrived after you back to be treated first, that is because this is an EMERGENCY room and they are sicker than you are. You getting a fix of vicodin is not more important than the 6 year old with a severe asthma attack. Telling the nurse at triage that now your migraine is giving you chest pain since you have been sitting a half hour in the waiting area to try to force her into taking you back sooner is a recipe for making all of us hate you. Even if you end up coming back immediately, I will make it my mission that night to torment you. You will not get the pain medicine you want under any circumstances. And I firmly believe that if you manipulate your way to the back and make a 19 year old young woman with an ectopic pregnancy that might kill her in a few hours wait even a moment longer to be seen, I should be able to piss in a glass and make you drink it before you leave the ER.

So if you keep these few simple rules in mind, our interaction will go much more smoothly. I don't really give a shit if I give 20 vicodins to a drug-seeker. Before I was burnt out in the ER I was a hippy and I would honestly rather give that to ten of you guys than make one person in real pain (unrelated to withdrawal) suffer. However, if you insist on waving a flourescent orange flag that says 'I am a drug seeker' and pissing me and the nurses off with your behavior, I am less likely to give you that rx. You don't want that. I don't want that. So lets keep this simple, easy, and we'll all be much happier.

Sincerely,
Your friendly neighborhood ER doctor

What gives....(my late reaction to MaFu)

2008-08-20T11:20:00.020-05:00

I was reading bryanboy's blog when I stumbled upon his archives about Malu Fernandez' comment on bloggers and here it goes:

WTF was this "biyatchnamese" talking about?? Are we just lowly no life marmacette and has no one to talk to?? I (do) go out, aside from going to work and (tried to) "be a dedicated health care worker" (NOTTTTTT!). Ohh em gee! When was the last time she had her psych evaluation? I am just worried that she overdosed herself with Prozac,uppers or Ekis Pinoy `coz Le Snuffalufagus is a numbsuck!!! Judging from her pictures,

it seems like MaFu was the one who hasn't gone out for her daily walks & talks (zilch persona) because she is just....in a rude sense of way, had too much caloric intake and morbidly obese (BTW, she looks like an evil clown with her overly done blush on. Should I email her to use "pinch your cheek" by Origins? bwehehehehehe) Shake it off girl. You live in a country where size negative double ØØ & Ø is the norm.
Enihooters, I am more concern about visits from flips proof reading my blog. Most of them are... as bryan boy said "anal-retentive English nazis on the face of the planet."
Excuse me while I hurl outside. Need to get to size Ø before going to Vegas in November. I will be wearing a 2 piece~ "A pair of earring and a smile!"
TTFN! I have to walk my dog and enjoy the humid, cloudy Texas bed weather.

PS: Ginisang mongo na may baboy ang ulam ngayon! Tsalap!
PPS: Ayoko ng sponsorship sa blog ko! Me trabaho ako na pwedeng sumuporta sa kalokohan ko.
Isa pang post script: MAFU, libre lang daw ang citizenship sa Antartica. Bwahahahahaha

Deductible

2008-08-13T22:41:00.014-05:00

I was shaking so hard this afternoon while opening the statement bill from my hospitalization last month. I snoop the approximate bill, and it wasn’t good. I was so worried that I've indulge myself to work 9 days post-operatively(with the knowledge that ER had already been busy), because I was thinking that I would be paying it for millions of years.
My husband read it for me, `coz it was dizzying with all the dollar signs charged on me between 2 doctors & ER visit, 2 surgeries and hospitalization. All in all, according to hubby, I just owe them $363.20 mickey mouse dollars. Oi! I had a health plan discount (employee discount), then my health plan itself. Juice mio. What a relief.

Lord, thank you for backing me up!

Side note: We were busy the other day that we maxed out our gurney-patient ratio. A man with a male child was clamoring about he pays the highest taxes in that area and would not be able to get a room right away (they were in the hallway gurney) dang! Are you serious, man? I didn’t even know that our 5 tier triage process just changed based on how much you pay taxes). Child was crying because he hurt his side. Dad yelled at our physician, police officers had been called. Automatically, child had a full work up with IV access (IMO, not needed, really~ but dad’s yelling made it worse.)
Diagnosis: child made it home (of course) with just contusion (see what I mean). Dad~No cure for stupidity.
Lesson: Don’t make a fool of yourself. Remember, we’re the closest hospital in your area. I will be looking forward seeing your arse....again!mwehehehehehe

wuturupto??

2008-08-13T02:56:00.030-05:00

My dog made me believe that I don't belong in our crib. I have this hunch that my neat freak hubby and our OCD dog are conjoined at birth. My husband laughs at how I iron my uniform (so he ends up doing it for me), while my dog is eyeing me intensely that I am about to make a mess. Huwatdapak!
OK, I came from the planet Yakizurba, I love japanese food, I'm still a coke addict and the best of it all, I love it when I'm in front of my pc and think nothing about tomorrow and just continuously surf the wide world of web. Ohh la la. My hubby noticed that I am not into Journey/AP anymore. I am soooo saturated by it (I'm gonna get hanged by whoever is reading my blog). Some of the (AP)fans are killing me. Thus, I decided just to stay out of it. Nagiging bakya na eh. It's like... loving the old Happy Feet clogs in the 70's better than the Happy Feet being sold at Shoemart nowadays.
I got swayed there for a second.
I am catching up on what's in Itunes and new applications. I love to download games for my Itouch that I can use in my not oh so boring job. But the most awesome dl I got tonight is the Pandora radio station (freelaluh!). With my Itouch and wifi I'll be listening to my AOR.

It's now 0334 hrs. And I'm still going ga ga with my 80's sound. Couldn't get away with it. Reminiscing.
College.

Cramming. Public Health sexy uniform. "Charol shoes."
Barkada. Shakeys. Beer. Ijos. UGH!Vicious cycle.

"When you cant give no more
They want it all but you gotta say no
Im turnin off the noise that makes me crazy
Lookin back with no regrets
To forgive is to forget
I want a little piece of mind to turn to". ~
excerpt from Be Good to Yourself lyrics by Journey

The Art of cooking Chicken Inasal

2008-08-10T12:09:00.015-05:00

Sunday is BBQ day. Today's menu is Chicken Inasal (ilonggo guid ini ya nga style!)
Sige....itud-lo ko sa inyo ang recipe ni nanay:
Mix together: finely chopped ginger & garlic, lemon grass, rock salt, and brown sugar, crushed peppercorn.

Then add calamansi, and cane vinegar, mix them together

Marinate your chicken on the mixture and set aside for 1 hr.

In a pan, mix together vegetable oil, 1/2 stick butter, garlic powder, pinch of salt, achuete, and crushed peppercorn. Heat up until you yield an orange tinged basting sauce(from achuete extract.

This will be your basting oil.

Find a cute guy that will do your dirty work.

That is willing to sacrifice himself on a dead summer heat past the hour of 10, and is still smiling. Say CHICKEN!

Ahhhhh the left over! Yum. Thank gawd me natira pa pambaon ko mamaya!

"Lord, thank you for thy wonderful meal! I thought that I've completely forgotten my mom's recipe. Bless my surgeon and my gastroenterologist for taking out my gallbladder and left over stones in my common bile duct. I am now back to my weird eating habit! I say AMEN!" whoooa whoooaa!~mcc

Life in the....

2008-08-09T07:48:00.017-05:00

These are the RULES that I would like to say and love to follow, but in actual form, it can never happen.( I really want to say it, but I still have the chance to bite my tongue and not make any kind of sound!). This is my life in the(funny world of) ER. Hopefully, I will not be googled by my co-workers (yer right) better yet, my bosses!
Here it goes:

1. If you (are sick)disagree about the treatments you received in ER because it doesn't correlate on to what you have read on the internet, please don't come in and harass us. I will let your computer do the work and the "net" treat you. Oh yeah! More power to you too.
2. If you come to ER by ambulance, you are going to find a way how to get home after you are released. We don't give out cab voucher (BTW, I really love your big expensive COACH bag!).
3.We don't do pre-op work up just because you live around the corner, and you're going to have your surgery in Middle of nowhere Dallas.
4.We haven't used nurses cap for the last 2½ decades(Did you just got home from Venus??).
5. Please give your child Tylenol or Motrin if they have a fever. I don't need a proof that they're on fire. Have you seen a child having febrile seizure?
6. The last time I checked the word Emergency Department, it is not spelled the same manner as Burger King....therefore, there is no such thing as "Have it your Way" treatment here!
7. Please don't come in to ER because you just saw in the news about Cryptosporidium in the public pool."No mam, you don't have it. You dont get those bugs by just watching tv!"
8. I don't have your old chart in front of me, so you have to tell me (everything)all your medical history even if you come in for sore throat for 1 week.
9. Please don't call asking me if a blood pressure of 169/101 is high and you've been none compliant to your medication for over 4 weeks. First off, I don't answer to medical questions and give treatments and diagnosis over the telephone. Second, I am a very honest person. I will tell you to wait for another 4 weeks and you will know the answer to your question.
10. DO NOT...I REPEAT, do not drink Dr Pepper in front of me while you're complaining that you have a belly pain. Same goes with smokers who comes in complaining that they can't breathe. When I'm ready to take you to your room, Don't request to go out first for the last puff! Ohh Em Gee!
11. Please don't tell me that you are good buddies with Dr. Ek Ek & Atty. Plok Plok, or you're a nurse. It will not in any other way, change the course of treatment. thank you very much!
12. ER is not a drop off center of your old folks during HOLIDAY SEASON!
13. No sireebob! WE never refill narcotic medications.
14. ER is not congruent to OB clinics at wee hours, play off season, and SUPERBOWL Sunday! Sorry, but we don't play pitty party here.
15. Don't threatened me that I have only 1 chance to start an IV to your infant who had been vomiting all day, and that you are a paramedic. I consider myself the best IV nurse,I can find vein even on active pediatric code with almost no circulation, so when you threatened me like an arse on fire, I will find you another nurse to poke your child.
16. YOU WHAT??? You didn't know you're pregnant. Mam, your child's head is crowning.
17. I will not allow you to pay $350 for a pregnancy test. Go to Walmart.
18. PEOPLE...this is not DMV where you have to get a ticket number in order for us to treat you. This is a place where we see people based on the severity of their medical problem. I am sorry, PAIN is not an emergency. It is a symptom.

There are still a lot of rules that I want to remind myself of, but as the shift ends, I have to stop. It is now time for me to go home, and leave this rules behind. Besides, It is only applicable to the chosen few!

"Let me remind you that my work is to nurse you back to your health, and not to be your personal servant!And by the way, I don't care about press F#@*@$ ganey. All I care is that you're walking out of the ER with steady gait, and pissed off, but the truth shall remain. THAT I MADE YOU FEEL BETTER!" ~mcc

side note: When I was admitted in the ER for right upper quadrant pain, my husband noticed that the bedside cart is full of supplies and linens. In fact, it was the very same room that they've used when I was admitted there not to long ago for severe allergic reaction. He said, "they never used this room (pause) ever, huh. Look at this supplies in this cart, they're well stashed and never been touched."
And while I am in and out of my sharp stabbing pain on my side (coz I don't want any pain medicine), this is my response, "beh, you know when your wife and all the night shift elves work, they do a little magic trick, part of it is to make sure that all the carts in each and every room is fully replenished. And yes, we do use this room a lot too!"

......

2008-08-08T10:14:00.012-05:00

I am dragging myself today. Just tired and no energy. I will be probably answering emails and have a full blog by Monday or Tuesday. Must be my haircut....I have lost my power. Damn Katie just copied my new wash and wear do!

Di ba!
Kaibahan lang.....mas payat ka lang ng konti sa akin! Hmf!

Chat with Arnel

2008-08-05T16:08:00.027-05:00

I know....I know....I am so guilty...but I can't help it. What happened was, I was checking another blog, that has a mirror AP official website shout out box, and it so happened that AP was chatting there (his sn is knellsky), And I got stuck. But I will share it with Ms Vi and for the rest (meron ba?)who are my avid blogger followers (alam ko hubby ko lang) what I've captured today.
After knellsky left, an impostor under the same nickname logged in (unregistered) and left a message to this effect "HERE I COME BITCHES." This was captured right away by GUNBOT in Melodicrock. Came back to AP website and let the chatters aware to correct a forumer....lo and behold...even I scroll or flood the room....they didn't bother to acknowledge me. Why bother right? Enihoot...the message I posted on that shout box was picked up right away by (probably) one of the MR forumer, and gunbot erased his post. Good for him. Ms. Vagabond, this one is for you...feast your eyes over Knellsky! Oh yeah, he was also requesting if he can borrow movies like, 10,000 BC, Bank Job, There Will Be Blood, The Bucket List. Here are some info you might want to know also....#1. His Cholesterol is up, so he's not eating balut anymore, #2. He can go on for weeks with just fruits on his side, #3. he loves ampalaya and malunggay, #4. His son loves Elmo, #5 It was ABS who calls the shot for production casting (so let's not cry over if Sya SYA and Martin screw up his songs,) #5. ? A new album next year? #6. Wants to have a duet with Ann Wilson (but I guess that will never happen), #7. Will never go topless again (sayang), and He is aware about Jimmytt's hurtful comments on his youtube video, but AP said that everybody is entitled to their own opinion.

A co-worker of mine took care of a young Venetian(not telling you where that is)who came rushing to ER because she doesn't know where her tampon is. She thinks that her boyfriend had sex with her and that it pushes up her tampon (pointing to her epigastric area) and now she felt like she can't swallow. Sporting a straight face, my co-worker reaction was like " Oh my Gawd, you have to drink a lot of water to push it down. Handling over a jug of ice cold water and a cup, she said "HERE FINISH IT UP! I'm sure y'all fell better after this." She turned around with a WTF look in her face, meanwhile, the entire staff who heard the conversation went inside the trauma room, debriefing their ass off.

Samot-Sari

2008-08-05T05:16:00.017-05:00

I hate having 2 days off. First off, I lose a day by sleeping until past 8 (yuppers!). Yes my dear, 8pm...that's with a dose of Norco 5/325. I was supposed to work for 8 hours yesterday, but I am still bothered by my post-op pain that's been nagging me for several days now. I am on restrictions of lifting no more than 10 pounds for 2 weeks but with the kind of work that I have, the mere opening of the triage door, and pushing 150 kilograms of fat dead body weight on a wheelchair has taken it's toll on me. And I gave out. Coming back to work 9 days post surgery is not easy.I felt I've walked from Mansfield to Denton.
Before I left from work, I managed to send a funny excuse-me-from-work email to my boss yesterday. I've mentioned that my "tired frail body is giving up, and my right upper quadrant is howling every now and then." I thought she's going to call me for the very informal sick call, but instead, she responded to me in a very funny way.
And now it is past 5 in the morning. What else am I going to do. Hubby and doggie are both snoring, I am about to finish my third cup of yogurt... I think, I've drank to much water.I've Oggled and googled, watched all my missed TV shows...checked my friendster, read the news for tomorrow at cnn.com, re-read my fave bloggers, and here I am.... about to lose another day. I need to drain my energy. I guess I have to start making my schedule for September. Oh yeah, that's a long one. I am one of those who base their work schedule on TV shows.
I take that back, I now work on weekends only. That way I can watch, The Closer on Monday, Eureka on Tuesday, Ghost Hunters on Wednesday, Burn Notice on Thursdays, and Monk and Psych on Fridays. So you see, I have a very busy schedule. Then of course, local network series that I am oogling about, Such as Bones, Ghost Whisperer, Numb3rs, House, Medium, CSI, Criminal Minds. I don't like (honestly) watching any kind of reality shows. I hate it. People do get ugly in these shows in order for them to win.
Crap! It's 0554 hrs now. I have to go to sleep. I hope we can still get to watch "The Mummy" tonight.
PS: I hope I am done changing my blog layout.

One night, I was doing my charge work, when I get a call from a patient that was seen 2 days ago. He said he still have "abominable" pain and "shits" and wants to come back to E.R. for second opinion. I told him "We're happy to see you sir." His response is somewhat irate, "you don't understand, they escorted me out, and this time, I am going to bring my lawyers". So i said, "Sure Sir, you can bring your entire community and 7 lawyers, but please make sure you don't forget to bring yourself in." "CLICK!"
mwahahahahahahaha!

Catching up session 102...by Wiggles!

2008-08-05T00:59:00.019-05:00

We can't produce our spawn right away for less than a month, so, we found a cutesy pup...a princess size shi tzu, and we named him Wiggles. He's very adorable, fun, nap loving dog. As you can see on the above pictures,he is very spoiled. And as for me.....I am settled here in the back seat.

That's it!

2008-08-04T01:37:00.005-05:00

At this time, triage area is a dead zone, and I am not doing anything for the last 8 minutes....so I will just update my blog about something that I've promised my husband.

Few days ago, I asked my hubby in a trivia manner, on who sang that filipino song playing on his IPOD. His answer was, I really dont care who's singing that or this song, all I care is that it is pleasant to my ears and it is in my IPOD. I dont want to be like you who idolize the singer. Whatever he said, hits me real hard. Here I am, like a crazy fool, fidgeting over someone....crazy over him and a rabid fan in some sort of ways (reading forums, getting into the details, but never been in a fight....as of yet...over a singer not IP grabbing). So, as I promised, I am not to waste any of my precious time, never again will I ever go to forums, chatboards of anykind about my favorite band. I will just listen to their songs or albums. And that's a period!

YEP! I've noticed that AP was holding his back as if he was hurting at DFW Concert. I noted it at least 3 times. I just want to mention.

Shout/Vent Out

2008-08-03T15:24:00.008-05:00

I will keep you posted on the catch up that I have to recall, but for the meantime, I have to do my shout out....sorta vent too.
First off....I don't reveal my identity over the internet for the sake of ....well....some people are kwaaaaaaaayzeeee!!! I had few bad incidents in the past, and back in the old old AOL 1994 days.....I have heard chatters killed by another chatter because of "just being rowdy in a chat room". #2~ a lot of lurkers in the webworld that would steal your identity....heck....I was even accused of one today for " STEALING IP!" (Never heard that one before, promise it's my first to be falsely accused of unheard offense ever so yet! Calling snopes.com). Hay buhay! People are making me laugh. Newbies of the internet. The guy who was said to be well respected in some band forums fought for his dear keyboard life against me in a shout out box and my own people (of skin and color) believed him. I proved myself not guilty of some uncalled for piece of crap accusation. In other words...."PAK DAT SHET!" Yun lang.
Whewwww....I felt better now that I just farted all over my blog.
My Big praise to my favorite bloggers:
I salute Brian Gorell for his AUDACIOUS blog. SALUTE!!!
I've read Kitty Go funny book called "When Chic Hits the fan," Awesome....although I have no idea of some people she had mentioned in her book, I googled them out.
And to my blog friend (which she doesn't know yet), Ms Vagabond, you are so absolutely delightful. I've learned a lot from you, specially the avoidance of the loons (and boy i can easily get killed from the crossfires). We will be in touch. I always look forward for your email, and hopefully....to meeting you someday in DFDUH.

Catching up session 101 circa Spring '07

2008-08-02T15:18:00.017-05:00

OMG! This is awfully hard. Can't believe that I have a lot of catching up to do. So, I guess I have to do this in several parts. March of '07 when JP moved in with me. Gone are my ear days. My cerebrum is doing it's funny work out in that entire month. We made plans of getting married, and It scares the shit out of me. I am so prone to relationship failure. I was afraid that it'll go wrong (again!!!)and I would end up having another rendevouz with happy pills. I notified my closest friends and some kababayan that we are planning to have a simple wedding somewhere in Decatur, TX on April. Then, we kinda change our mind that we will do it in a hush hush way via VIVA LAS VEGAS STYLE. But then....I don't want a speedy melancholic wedding. I want a simple memory-filled-last a lifetime nup that will last even if I develop an alzheimer memory path. And so it happened. I called up my friend/neighbor (a couple whom I worked with) the day before and told them to meet us up in Arlington. At exactly 10 am, the day of our Lord, 23rd of March 2007, me & JP held our hands together, and in front of the Justice of Peace of Arlington Linda Davis, we said our vows. Unbelievably, she kept the entire ceremony solemn and intimate. JP and I were shaking and teary-eyed. (Literally, I felt my hands were submerged in a freezing water). Even the only couple that we invited to witness our special event were grinning and teary at the same time. After the ceremony, pictures had been taken and we had a memorable lunch at Macaroni Grill with our friends. Today, 1 ½ years later, I still experience that "flutter-fib" excited feeling. It is the same feeling that you felt the first day that you have a date with your biggest crush in the entire world. And everytime I would look at him, I am still awed in disbelief.

"Truly in our lives, the awful events that we have come to experience, is purely a path leading to a more blessed life thereafter". ~MCC~

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Bee!

2008-07-26T11:08:00.004-05:00

Well hello there!!!! Whewww! Good to be back....how long has it been? Over 1 year! Whoaaa!
I've been busy. Actually, I started and continued blogging under friendster website and got stuck there, and couldn't figure out what my email and password I've used in this blog. Enihoo, I am so back and will update you on what is going on with mah so called life!

HAH!

2007-02-03T12:12:00.000-06:00

How long has it been??
I wonder if there are some people who still follow my journal.
I was successful in dealing with the holidays and my own birthday by not logging in, and census is still up. How has it been??
Well, as usual a workaholic like me ends up working 2 major holidays. But I went home to the Philippines right after my Christmas shift. I just went home to shower (packed up na ang gamit ko), and my co-worker picked me up and dropped me off at the airport. I got there on time for our 25th year High school reunion. I had a blast. I ate too much on New Year’s Eve and day. The only thing that sucks….I have to go back to U.S. before my birthday. And of course, I have to work, and start my orientation at MMMC.
Busy, busy, busy.
Ha! No love life matter here. Too much information. For now, I’ll keep it away from your probing eyes.
I’ll keep this page boring. I will post my special event around April.

piece of advice....

2006-11-22T06:30:00.001-06:00

are the very reason why some people have ruined their relationship.Sa dikta ng ibang tao tumatakbo ang desisyon nila sa buhay.
There's a story about a person who took all the effort he can find to get the opinion of all the rest, but never spoke to the person that was involved and he was concern about.In short, everything went down the drain.
What I've learned from a very helpful source, na kahit anong mangyaring altercation between two people....walang hihingi ng saklolo sa labas. Things will be settled without the opinion of others.So nangyayari, walang nakikialam, walang me disgusto, walang nag mi misjudge ng bawat isa, and so far it actually works.
Well, lapit na naman thanksgiving. I was reading my co-worker son's book (a pre K student) and was asked about what they are thankful for. They have funny, simple and oh so emotionally undeveloped anecdotes.
So what am I thankful for?
I am thankful that I have no regrets in life.
That's it pansit!

Treat...but then I guess I was tricked!

2006-10-30T07:57:00.000-06:00

I was supposed to be singing this....."I'll be home for christmas....you can count on me." Someone asked me if I am excited about my upcoming vacation. I was....not anymore. Too many things is going on right now...toooooo much of a headache.
But I'll be there....

I'm tired...seriously tired. Tonight will be my 11th day of work. a day off and another stretch and another 16 days stretch. Kakatuwa. I've taken myself off from my antidepressant, so I have to compensate, meaning, I have to get my mind set to something. Less than 2 months na lang pala. Whew!

Bukas na pala ang Haloween...makapag trick or treat nga sa kapitbahay ko! Me handa daw eh....feeding frenzy na naman ako!

Holiday plans

2006-10-15T09:04:00.000-05:00

Somewhere down the memory lane, I remembered about the STATE FAIR. Was excited to see it, but was unable to go....another STATE FAIR will come and go....pero....kakawalang ganang pumunta, but definitely I will be there...next year.

Ahhh....gloomy day...bed weather day...decisions....decisions...should i get that OT tonite or stay in bed and keep my bed warm and toasty. I am saturated with what's going on sa werk anyway. Honestly I just had it.

Decisions, decisions.....where should I spend my haloween. hee hee hee.... as long as I will get my share of my favorite sweets!

Thanksgiving....don't care about turkey....I am sure there will be plenty of it sa ER lounge room, I will just make sure i bring plenty of hawaiian sweet bread.

Christmas, I will be working....no christmas decor sa bahay.....as what I've promised to myself....in pursuit of true happines....until i find that right person,
there will be no christmas celebration.

Then...New Year....another year up ahead of me....I want to celebrate it...with that special someone....

ok...maga na paa ko...pagod na ako...haven't realized im doing looooong stretch of work....my ankles are swollen....

imma rest now....and watch "My Best Friend's Wedding!"

"Courage! I have shown it for years; think you I shall lose it
at the moment when my sufferings are to end?"
Marie Antoinette

Jagged Little Pill

2006-10-03T09:50:00.000-05:00

Webeeeee me. I am now trying to keep up with the world. I've been diagnosed with depression recently and my MD put me on this little pill that all it does is to make me sleep. Sleep like I haven't slept for ages. Funny how I can be motivated. There was a day at work that I was so smashed that I have to go home early, afraid that I am going to sleep on my way home. Imagine the drive. Well as soon as I hit home, I just took my work clothes and just crash right away. Slept before 7am and woke up at 6pm then go back to work again and still smashed. As the days goes by, I lost my mood swings, I am hearing better, my understanding to the whole scenario is way much better, and my headaches and back pains are all gone. I still sleep like a log, but oh my gawd.....what a wonderful pill it is. I've mentioned my depression before to my ex's but nobody listened to me. I never knew.....that I've been on denial, and struggling to keep up with the world.
Anyhoot, things are getting better nowadays. I am still in love. How can you not fall in love with this little wootsies
.....they've grown so fast....just couldn't keep up. They love siopao, coke and pandesal. hee hee hee hee. On weekend, treat is ice cream.

Now you tell me, how can you be depressed with this lovable cuddly one?

Estrange

2006-09-02T12:56:00.001-05:00

Just over a little a month ago,I've told my co-worker that I was feeling goofy, like someone had spiked up my drink. Unbelievably, I was holding on my BP> 212/102, and continuously worked that shift ( I am a little bit suicidal!). The physician then gave me a script for hypertension until I get to see a primary care. Everyday of my life since then on, was an ordeal. I am the type of person who works in a health care system but does not want to be a client. In other words, a very non compliant hard headed bitch. Finally, after a month, I had the guts to go to a certain Doctor in Arlington,who prescribed to double the dose of my current medicine. I guess I was so highly anxious about all the crap that he is going to find, that I shot my BP off the roof. Trusting doctors are not an easy one for me. Sometimes, I just wish I could die instantly rather than a slow painful one such as stroke and or renal failure. Just a whole lot of things had gone thru my mind.
Still a little bit on denial on my depression but I'm coping. I've learned to approach life by laughing outside, and still hurting somewhere. Suppression had been my game.
My wish...if God can hear or read this....what is Your game plan for me? I wish I knew...because honestly, I'm just so ready to give up.

Today is my mom's 76th birthday (2nd birthday after her death). How I just wish she's here. Probably somewhere, she hears my cries and all the pain I'm going through. I'm sure she's saying....hang in there.... YOU CAN DO IT.

Shhhhhhh

2006-08-23T17:47:00.000-05:00

For several weeks now, I've been holding my thoughts on what I should write in my blog. I've been putting all the drafts in mswords then been erasing it, then again, recalling them on my mind.
I am happy that I've been trying to keep my life busy by getting sick and at the same time updating myself for the upcoming HS grand reunion. I've already spoken to one of my classmates, and he made me laugh by describing me " the quiet and who doesn't know how to speak" classmate. He still calls me by my last name. Can't wait to get home again....see familiar faces, recalling the good ol` high school life.
And as for the thoughts that has been nagging my brain for several weeks now.....pushing it aside is better than blurting it out here.

Hybernating

2006-07-17T12:43:00.000-05:00

I was busy talking about myself and what I wanted to say....so here I am...
hybernating.

I am tired of my pathological critic.

Bridges of Madison County

2006-07-07T00:17:00.000-05:00

...and that just brings back the memory. The movie that caused so much pain in my heart.
Robert...alam mo ba ang tinatawag na "tortured sense of divided loyalties? Yan ang nararamdaman ni Francesca.
natatandaan mo ba ang linyang ito:
Francesca: "I want to keep it forever. I want to love you the way I do now the rest of my life. Don't you understand... we'll lose it if we leave. I can't make an entire life disappear to start a new one. All I can do is try to hold onto to both. Help me. Help me not lose loving you."
Di ba nakakabaliw. Matagal nya itong pinanghahawakan...sa pag aakalang mawawala ito ng kusa. Subalit, sa haba ng panahon at sa muling pag uusap nila, naroroon pa rin ang nararamdaman nilang kapwa sa isa't isa.
Hindi ko lang alam, kung ang nararamdaman ni Francesca ay alam ni Robert. Napakahirap isipin. Nag e exist nga ba talaga ang ganito?? Kung mababasa mo to....comment ka nga pls!

remember this song...your last song for Francesca
HIDING INSIDE MYSELF

I've been so alone all my life
I couldn't give my heart to anyone
Hiding in myself was a man
Who needed to be held like everyone

The days moved into years
I look for warmth between the tears
It never ever found me
Never ever found me
Yes, I did seem to grasp at straws
They surely broke all the time

So I hid inside
(Till) I almost died
Yes I hid inside and I cried
A loving heart in a sensitive man
Hiding inside myself

Then you came out of nowhere
I could not believe my heart
I didn't know how to tell you
Didn't know where to start
I know you understand

When I hid inside
I almost died
Oh, I hid inside and I cried
A loving heart in a sensitive man
I know you'll understand

"True love is possible, even in the scope of a life of compromise, and in the middle of nowhere, on the far side of any age..."

The Big July Move

2006-07-01T13:37:00.000-05:00

Finally....
I eased my way to the new pad. My own little place. Bringing me a new life, new beginning and whoooaaaa...... "single." ;p
For few more days, I will be leaving the good `ol house. Since the big ugly news was dropped on my face, I was never comfortable living here. I just wanted to pack up and leave right away if I could...pero eto na, sa wakas, makakalipat na rin.
Wag na lang tatanungin kung ano ang nasa loob ng utak at puso ko. They're still not coordinated. hahahahahahha

MY big take after all this stuff that's happening in my life....I finally don't rebel against Him anymore. Wala akong panalo talaga. It may sound like "stereotype" pero I've been asking for His guidance. As I open the bible, maganda ang rhema na binibigay nya sa akin....and it's a good relief.
If this is a big lesson for both of us to learn, then I've learned a lot...the hard way.
Psalms 71

Dear Marthony,

2006-06-28T22:30:00.000-05:00

I'm finally closing the final chapter of our book...

i've finally found my closure.

(edited on july 17, 2006~ some words had been erased by this blogger.)

Beh

2006-06-16T02:07:00.000-05:00

I'm just wondering how much you have to put up with me.....
your patience is up to the roof...and it is just so unbelievable.
I know I didn't made a mistake this time.
This is it.....this is The End!

I know you've heard this several times from me....but I still need to let you know how much I Love You....& always been grateful for your love without boundaries!

June Bug

2006-06-13T14:30:00.000-05:00

Gone away is the booger.....I've waited up to this time to write about my days in June. I feel blessed. Too many things had happened to me in the past few weeks.....I am so ready for a brand new life.
Meanwhile, in my work world....ahhh basta lang....tuwa lang ako...kahit na threat na akong I fire out for not getting my ethics, yearly eval, and kung anu-ano pa. But everything is still ok. Someone up there is always on my side.
Another thing is that I can't get off to my usual weight. I wanted to look and feel good. I've shared this dilemma to Ipe...he said he already deliberately gained himself some weight, "para pag andyan na ako, hindi ka na maiilang, pareho na tayo, sama tayo mag exercise at mag walk, hindi ka nag iisa." My heart just melted away. I pinched myself thinking I was just dreaming, I guess I wasn't.

"Real love, I've learned, is a very, very strong form of forgiveness. I don't think people yearn for love because they hate staying home alone on a saturday night or because they dread going to restaurants alone. People want love because they want their taped-together glasses or ten extra pounds to be forgiven. They want someone to look past the surface of stuff like bad hair days, a too-loud laugh or potato chips crunching in their living-room couch when anyone sits down."

Asa ka pa!

2006-05-30T08:26:00.000-05:00

Para sa mga taong nanliligaw, nagbabalak manligaw,
nililigawan, naliligaw, nag-iintay maligawan at nagbabalak
lumagay sa magulo..........
Ang love ay hindi minamadali... hindi pinipilit..at lalong hindi
kina-career...
Aray ko.
unang-una...
PAANO MO BA NASABING MAHAL MO NA SIYA???...
dahil ba natutuwa ka sa kanya???...
o kaya naman naaaliw ka???...
naswee-sweetan ka ba ng sobra sa kanya???...
kinikilig ka ba pag nakikita mo siya???...
at nahi-high kapag naririnig mo na ang boses niya???...
eh teka muna...
baka naman infatuated ka lang....
o kaya naman kagaya nga ng sagot mo...
BAKA naaaliw ka lang...
dahil kakaiba siya...
may spark na hindi mo maintindihan...
tsk!!!...
ang saklap nyan!...
pangalawa...
GAANO MO NA BA SIYA KAKILALA???...
madali ba siyang mapikon???...
pano ba siya mabadtrip???...
madali bang mahalata na may topak siya???...
ano bang suot niya pag nasa bahay siya???...
shorts ba o pantalon???...
nakasando ba siya o naka-t-shirt lang???...
matagal ba siyang maligo???....
kumakain ba siya ng vegetables???...
tamad ba siya???...
mas gusto ba niyang manood ng tv kaysa magbasa ng
libro???...
nagpe-play station ba siya???... tatlo ba ang pamangkin
niyang lalaki???...
makukulit ba yung mga kamag-anak niya???...
green ba ang kulay ng gate ng bahay nila???...
sa village ba siya nakatira???...
may sakayan ba ng jeep na malapit sa kanila???...
nagsisimba ba siya linggo-linggo???...
kasama ba yung pamilya niya???...
at nagdadasal ba siya bago matulog???...
in short...
alam mo na nga ba???...
ang mga bagay-bagay...
ang mga simpleng bagay tungkol sa kanya...
na nagdedetermine ng sarili niya...
as in kung sino ba talaga SIYA...
pangatlo...
KAYA MO BA SIYANG TANGGAPIN???...
as in TANGGAPIN ng buong-buo...
sa lahat ng trip niya sa buhay...
sa lahat ng katopakan niya...
sa lahat ng pag-iinarte at pag-dadrama niya...
sa lahat ng kasalanang nagawa, ginawa, at gagawin pa lang
niya...
sa lahat ng naiisip niya... sa lahat ng sasabihin niya... sa kilos
niya...
sa pananamit pa pala niya... sa pagsasalita...
sa pananaw niya sa buhay... sa pagtrato niya sa
tao... sa lifestyle niya...
sa uri ng pamilyang meron siya...
sa uri ng kaibigang kasa-kasama niya...
sa style niya pagdating sa love... sa kasweetan niyang
natural...
sa paglalambing niya... sa tawa niyang pagkalakas-lakas... sa
manners niya...
sa bisyo niya kung meron man... sa mga pang-aasar niya
sayo...
sa style niya pagdating sa pagsolve ng problema...
sa problemang maaari ka ring masama...
pang-apat...
KAYA MO BANG MAGING TOTOO???...
kaya mo bang makita yung sarili mo...
na kasama pa rin siya ha...
sa isang sitwasyong pag naisip mo eh...
mapapaiyak ka na lang sa sakit...
nang dahil din sa kanya???...
kaya mo bang magmukhang tanga...
as in umiyak ng dahil sa kababawan...
ibuhos ang mga nararamdaman mo...
kahit na puro kababawan nga lang naman...
as in kahit sa harapan niya???...
kaya mo bang maging barubal pag kasama mo siya???...
yung tipo bang wala ka ng pakielam...
mawala man ang manners mo...
na wala ka naman talaga...
in short...
KAYA MO BANG MAGING IKAW KAPAG KASAMA MO NA
SIYA???...
yung tipong hindi ka nahihiyang ipakita kung sino ka talaga...
dahil alam mong...
HINDI MO LANG SIYA TANGGAP...
TANGGAP KA RIN NIYA...
BUONG-BUO RIN...
MGA TAO!!!...
tama na kasi ang trip...
tama na ang pagmamadali...
oo masarap ngang mainvolve sa isang tao...
pero diba mas masarap yun...
LALO NA KUNG ALAM MONG TOTOO YUNG
NARARAMDAMAN MO....
kaya dapat, hinde tayo nagpapabulag sa akala na ting
LOVE....
mag antay na lang tayo....
wag natin unahan....
for all we know, nde pa pala sila ang para sa atin......
...
pero pag nasagot mo lahat ng nasa taas....
baka nga mahal mo na siya....
*comment...oo nga mahal mo nga sya...eh ikaw..mahal ka ba
nun? SUS ASA KA
PA???!!!!
sarado pinto ko hmp!

You......

2006-05-29T06:05:00.000-05:00

I love you because i know you're always there..there to catch me when i fall...there to listen when i need you, there when i feel alone. I love you because you understand me..you know how i feel even when i can't say it...you know i'm not as strong as i say and still you never let me know that i'm not fooling you. I love you because you make me believe, believe that i am not worthless...believe that i can be loved, am loved, and can love others. I love you because you know, you know i feel this way but can't say it and still you wait...letting me take my time to come to terms with the fact that i love you...would give my life up to be with you...and above all...never hurt you...lie to you...or leave you. Now i hope you understand.

Kay Tagal

2006-05-26T16:14:00.000-05:00

Hirap matulog ng nag iisa. Palibhasa sinanay na natin ang bawat isa na magkasama palagi. Kakainis nga eh. Kahapon nagpagod tayo sa telebabad...magdamag nag kwentuhan, nag bolahan at nag hanap pa ng ibang makakausap. Di ba, hindi ka rin agad makatulog. Nawala ang antok ko sa dami ng mapapag usapan natin. Eh di napaaga ang pag higa mo ngayon dyan. Mag a alas otso pa lang ng umaga sa oras ko, imbes na nakikipag huntahan ka sa labas, bagsak na ang katawan mo sa "higaan ng pusa!" Natakot ka naman na gisingin ako, sa dahilang naaalala mong nasigawan kita noong minsan na ginising mo ako ng alanganin.
Bakit kaya sa tuwing oras ng pag gising natin, walang katapusang pag hahanap ng bawat isa ang nararamdaman natin? Kulang na talaga ang oras. Hindi ka ba nahihirapan sa pag hintay? Na nasasayang ang bawat oras natin na mag kahiwalay??
Napakatagal.......

Sleep Deprived

2006-05-23T13:06:00.000-05:00

For months now, I've been dealing with my sleep deprivation. The longest sleep that I can have is 4 hours. It is now 1309 hrs and I am still wide awake. I've cut down my coca~cola, and been drinking diet raspberry tea and it still doesnt work. Im pretty sure there is an underlying problem to this....and never dealt with it. I'm also working 8-10 days 12 hour shift stretch.
Yeayyyy!!!
I just want this ugly cycle to end....

No....I don't have dark circles in my eyes......yet!

PS: Beh...thank you for that "Buchikik con How Did you know" rendition....Hindi pa rin po me makatulog.

Soul Mate

2006-05-19T20:08:00.000-05:00

An Old Soul~ An experience soul who appreciates tradition. Mellow and wise, likes to be with others but also to be alone. Down to earth, sensible and impatient. A creature of habit, it takes you a while to warm up to new people.
Hates injustice, and very protective of family and friends A bit demanding, expects proper behavior from others. Extremely independent and doesn't mind living or being alone. But when he find love, he tends to want marriage right away.

Warrior Soul~ A strong person and sometimes seen as intimidating. She doesn't give up.Committed and brave. Truly adventuresome,she's not afraid of going to battle. Extremely protective of loved ones, root for the underdog.
Very picky about details and rigorous in her methods. Values honesty and fairness a great deal. She can be outspoken, intimidating, headstrong, and demanding. A hardliner who demands the best from themselves and others

Stump

2006-05-18T08:39:00.000-05:00

"I don't know why it is easier to recuperate after a computer affair dies,.
I guess it has something to do with the fact that the intimacy does not actually exist in the first place. It's rather like waking up from a dream. The situations and characters which are believable during sleep do not seem rational in the light of day. When one looks back at a computer love after it has disappeared and its intoxicating effects have worn off,it is revealed for what is it -- an illusion. "
by:Matet

Ipe

2006-05-15T11:43:00.000-05:00

"With love and patience, nothing is impossible"

In So Many Ways.....

2006-05-12T01:45:00.000-05:00

From time to time, my co-workers would notice my "weird" affect.I've been having bouts of crying spells. Up until last night, one of the male newbies ask me about what's going on. I started pouring out my soul. I've never realized how mad I was.
He then asked me if I have been praying, and I admitted that I haven't, stating that I've made several wrong turns, and has forgotten to ask for Divine Intervention.
He then told me that it's ok to get mad, soon I will get over it and everything will be alright. For the longest time, I've longed to speak to somebody who understands what I am going thru. It was a good conversation. In fact, I've considered it one valuable christian conversation. Then I've come to realize that every wrong turns I made, HE is still there with me. He utilized all His resources to get my attention ...and I was just ignoring Him. Newbie whom I've judged from hearsay is giving me some rude awakening.
Fast Forward: Woke up late, and decided to go to Sonic for dinner. At the corner of Blue Grove and Pleasant Run, I've seen the red light on the other side of the road and Left turn lit up on my turf, but instead of hitting the road right away, for some reason, I decided to move my IPOD from my mug holder to the bottom part where I put my work ID. If I made a dash left turn as soon as I saw that green light (which I normally do), 2 cars that were running the red light on the opposite side, could've T-Boned my car and I would most likely die (mabilis ang takbo ng 2 sasakyan). And I uttered Thank YOU Lord. You have saved me once again.

Excerpt:
Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect. It means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections.

Skunk Email

2006-05-11T13:26:00.000-05:00

Being drunk and pissed off at the same time, is not a good combination to type up an email especially when you are trying to make a point. I lost my gaddam point. Don't even know where the fuck my email was heading to. I lost my brain somewhere between the 3rd glass of the cocktail and 5 benadryl. Geezaweezzzz! KAKAHIYA. When I found my sent mail, I was in disbelief that I actually made it. Well, at least I have proven something....."THAT WAS MY BRAIN ON STUPID ALCOHOL AND high DOSE drug (125 mg Benadryl lang naman). Pati ako nahilo sa english ko. I was challenged trying to understand that freaking email. bwahahahahaha. Now that is one funny piece of crap! I immediately flushed it down the drain.
I remembered earlier part of the day, between my lucidity and my drunken stupor state was....I was typing away none stop, and crying at the same time. If you are going to ask me what I was typing about....probably about my discombobulated thoughts. Unfortunately, it was sent...intended to be,not to humiliate my writing but to emphasize the thoughts I've kept within me.
It may be a funny piece of email under INFLUENCE, but I've made it....straight to whatever point it would take.
....and I've finally rest my case!

Tanong lang....

2006-05-08T02:35:00.000-05:00

How would you feel.....if you find out that your bf is flirting with another woman and not admitting to it, then you got pissy and you refused to talk to him...then you haven't heard from him for the longest time....and by the time he communicated with you.....ME IBA NA SYA?

POHTAH......nakakatawa.....bilis mong mag move on GEORGE!!!

excerpt from a text message:
I called you (20)
times on
05/06/06 10:30
but the operator
kept on saying:
"Sorry the subscriber is
having SEX!!!
Please try your call
after 4 more
rounds."

Pity Party

2006-05-03T16:23:00.000-05:00

I've been having a pity party this month. I'm putting up a list of what my friends and family had been telling me. It would be a long list. So it will be in a constant update. Your comment is higly appreciated.

From Tonet of Binondo, Manila ( my niece)
SALAWIKAIN:
Aanhin mo ang marangyang kama na yari sa Narra kung di ka naman masaya sa iyong kasama...
Mabuti pang mahiga sa damo.....kung kasama mo'y magaling .....KUMABAYO!

BONSAI of Harinawa, NY (txt msg)
SUS...u think magagawa mo yun? confront mo sila ganun? and then what? mag iiba ba ang feeling mo after?
if u feel tirapyutik den by ol mins.

Java da Hotty of San Francisco, Malate (chat)
kahit mahal mo ang isang tao, kung niloko ka na, what's the use of continue loving that person?

Matet of Upthere Somewhere, Kinetiket (voice mail)
Hello NINANG, ngayon ko lang nakuha mga messages mo. I hope you're feeling ok.....Ksszzzzkkk Kssszzzkkk....kwek kwek..........(thank you for using Tmobile)....i dunno....ikaw basta...concern ko ikaw....sana nakatulog ka.....ayun lang....im driving.....and its paking raining......call me ok......bye!

Lolo of Lovesfield, Manila (bag phone)
TULOG NA
tulog na mahal ko
hayaan na muna natin ang mundong ito
lika na, tulog na tayo.

tulog na mahal ko
wag kang lumuha, malambot ang iyong kama
saka na mamroblema
tulog na hayaan na muna natin sila
mamaya, hindi ka na nila kaya pang saktan
kung matulog, matulog ka na…

tulog na mahal ko
nandito lang akong bahala sa iyo
sige na, tulog na muna

tulog na mahal ko
at baka bukas ngingiti ka sa wakas
at sabay natin haharapin ang mundo
tulog na hayaan na muna natin sila
mamaya, hindi ka na nila kaya pang saktan
kung matulog, matulog ka na…
hanggang makatulog ka

to be continued

The Essence of Depression

2006-05-01T03:02:00.001-05:00

After several months of confinement, I now have the guts to cut throat....errrr....to start blogging.
In the past few months, I've been in a topsy turvy situation. And finally, after several seething moments, I've come to realize that this is not the end of my time nor a call for ambien or anti depressant overdose. I must admit, today I have to call in sick to analyze what kind of life I've been to, and what the heck did I just do. I laid awake all day today, thinking over and over again what part of my relationship went wrong. OH yes, I remembered. I'm probably one of those bitches that gives up easily on people whom I cannot trust. And I just don't wanna go back. I JUST DON'T. Why should I? I am the one running my life. Not them. I deserve to be happy and not miserable.
Ahhhhh...thank God for all my friends who stuck with me all through out. May I say that you are all special. Pag namatay nga lang ako, wala akong kayamanan na ipapartida sa inyo!!! nyehehehehehehehe.

I remembered that lingering song in my head that goes " I did my best, but I guess my best wasn't good enough..."
Kaya pala when he left, ito rin ang kinakanta ko sa banyo, "Alam kong meron ng iba, sa kilos mo'y nadarama, mukhang ako ay kinalimutan mo na wala ng masasabi di ba."

One thing I can say is that.......It would take time for me to cope up with all these changes happening in my life, but I bet yah..... I am a better person than before.

PS: Special mention kay Bon Sai, letche ka....meron ka pang nalalaman na "if u feel tirapyutik den by ol mins...." YOUR PEYS!!!!

Screwed

2005-12-18T05:44:00.000-06:00

I dont know what you are thinking about.....
But I have loved everyone that I have loved.....
I just don't understand the cheating part.....

The Misadventure of Misty Liling (Par Deux)

2005-08-24T13:08:00.000-05:00

(sa madaling sabi, heto na naman ako at ready to strike my keyboard...la pang pasyente eh!)
Ang nakaraan:
(Basahin kaya ang sa baba nitong post ko...ng hindi na ako mag kwento pa!)
Napagtigil ako sa aking ginagawa ( flipping the chart pretending to be busy kuno). At hinarap ang aking sekretarya. Hinintay kong humupa ang kanyang iyak. Wala naman akong magawa. Sadyang matigas ang ulo ni Misty pag dating sa tinatawag na PAG IBIG.
Ilang beses ko na rin nabanggit sa kanya na kaiingat na sya sa pag pili ng makakasama nya sa buhay. Pero sadyang sabik din sya sa pag kalinga ng tao na talagang magpapaligaya at magiging tapat sa kanya.
"Ma'm Jen, kahit naman po ang mga kaibigan nya ay nagsasabing mabait si Corey eh. Tinanong ko ang isa nyang kasamahan sa trabaho, mabait ang personalidad nya at talaga namang matulungin. Ang hindi ko lang talaga malaman kung bakit hinayaan nyang mahulog ang loob ng babaeng yon." "Nakita ko sa mga text messages nya, na nag papaalam pa sya sa babae kung anong gagawin nya at me kasama pang "MUAH" or "TSUP!" Pati ang pasakit ng likod nya, ang pag alala kung kumain na ang isa't isa ay hindi nila nakakalimutan sa mga text or YM messages nila. Kahit sa madaling araw, bumabangon pa ang babae at nag la log in para lang makapag usap sila. Tama ba yun??

Nakatingin pa rin ako sa malayo, gusto ng bumukas ng bibig ko at sabihing "argh" pero hindi ko magawa. Mahirap nga namang isipin at nakakasakit ng dibdib.
Isa ako sa mga saksi ng ikinasal si Misty at Corey sa huwes. Ala Vegas style pa nga sa bilis ng kasal eh. Tipong napa talikod lang ako sandali at napabahin, pag harap ko, KASAL na sila. Potaena, where is da piktyur!?

Niyakap ko na lamang si Misty. Lalong bumunghalit ang kanyang iyak (patay! basa na sa sipon at luha ang see-thru top ko!). Inabot ko sa kanya ang Kleenex Box, at umupo sa harapan nya. Tama na yan. Alam kong mahirap isipin ang mga bagay na yan. Huwag ka na lang mag dwell sa situation. Kasi the more you think about it, the more na maiinis ka lang sa sarili mo at sa kanya. Huwag ka na rin mag isip ng masama sa pag uusap ng dalawa. Hayaan mo munang linawin ang sitwasyon, at makinig ka rin sa irarason nya kung bakit nakarating sa ganoong pag uusap sila nang babaeng yon. Hindi siya kumibo. Bagama't yun ang naka pag pa ampat ng konti sa kanyang malakas na palahaw.

" Huwag kang mag alala Ma'm Jen. Hindi pa rin naman ni minsan nasira ang mga trabaho ko. Gusto ko lang i verbalize itong nangyaring ito sa amin. Sana nga hindi totoo ang hinala ko. Pero, ewan ko ba....sadya atang nawala na ang tiwala ko sa kanya. Natatakot akong hindi ko na maibalik pa ang normalcy sa relationship namin.Laging nasasaisip ko ang tanong na "BAKIT?"

Huwag mo munang isipin ang mga nangyayaring ito, Misty. Maaaring napag isip isip rin ni Cory ang mga ginawa nya, at mag kakaliwanagan kayo. Balang araw, mapapatawad mo rin sya, pero alam kong hindi mo pa makakalimutan ang situasyon na ito.
It takes time Misty, it takes long $#*Q$&)Q$)Q time....but you'll get there.

(itutuloy)

The misadventure of Misty

2005-08-23T23:40:00.000-05:00

Tawagin natin sya sa pangalan na Misty.
Misty Liling po ang buong pangalan nya. Sya po ay labing- siyam na taong gulang ang pag iisip, pitumpu't dalawang taong gulang ang hinanakit sa buhay ( times 3 o pagka minsan ay times 4 ang nadadagdag sa original nyang edad sa kakaisip sa problema) pero sa aking kaalaman, sya po ay nasa edad na lagpas na sa kalendaryo pero patok pa rin sa lotto.
Dumating sa opisina ko noong isang araw si Misty at luhaan. Ni halos makapag bigkas ng buong salita ang kaawa awang babae. Palibhasa, makailang beses na rin syang bigo sa mga nakaraan nyang "relationship," pagkatapos ay heto na naman at panibago na namang problema ang ihaharap nya sa akin. "Madam, (hikbi, nasisinok na sa kakaiyak), hin (hik) di ko na kaya ito" Ano ba itong nangyayari sa akin. Sabay sabay na dagok sa dibdib itong nararanasan ko. "
(potek, talagang paying attention na talaga ang nag babasa!).

teka antok na ang author ng komiks. Ipagpatuloy na lang po natin ito sa susunod na pag gising ng diwa ko. Antok na ako eh. Bukas naman uli...maganda ang storya ni Misty eh.
BTW, Thank you very much for Sharon (Hairmonix) for my hair and make up. I would also like to thank a very good friend of mine, Mr Lee, for providing me fictional names for my story. Kung hindi dahil sa yo....na masugid kong taga subaybay....wala akong "SUPPLIES!"

FOS!!!

2005-08-21T23:42:00.000-05:00

Gotta tell you a story about a friend of mine....and here it goes.....

Nahuli nya na me kulukadidang si boylash! Nyahahahahaha. To think, uutakan pa sya ni mokong. Very clever very clever. So my friend na tawagin na lang natin na Gurlaluh, went straight sa hospital after na hinatid si boylet sa destination nya (work),for emergency treatment ng SVT.... she was given a drug to slow down her heart rate. Mantakin mong for the last 2 days, ang heart rate ni gurlaluh is in the 180's! Fart george! That's like flushing down your toilet 180 times, puro sediments na pina flush mo....you're not getting enough circulation in your bod!
Sabi ko sa kanya, Manash, how does it feel like maloko ka ng tao! Sagot nya.....kaya nga nag kaganito heart rate ko, Iniiputan na ako ng #@#)@$&%&#( NYA SA ULO KO, AND SO.....kailangan ko ng i flush 180 times. That's funny! FUNNY and SICKENING!
gadamit.....hindi ko rin akalain na magagawa nung boylet na yon ke gurlash eh. Sabi ko nga eh....pede na syang mag work sa FBI and CIA after her admission. Fortunately, she only stayed sa ER for a couple of hours. Her SVT was due to stress. Dayum girl, XANAX lang katapat nyan....mag overdose ka....... =))

........

2005-08-13T23:49:00.000-05:00

Slowly everything sinked in.
I had a big outburst of crying spell while I was at work.....finally I realized that my mom is gone. I have no one to call home. I am now all by myself. I am going home again, but no one to go home to. I used to call her to talk about nothing. Mag papakwento lang ako ng kahit ano. Pupulot ng kung anu- anong chismis. She will no longer be there to listen to my grip, hear my cries, ease my pains, headaches, and be proud of my achievements in life. She will not be able to know now what's going on with some of her screwy family members (which is a good thing), that I have to deal with.
I dont know if my next trip will be my closure....
And just like other maki-nanay like me, my only wish for is...if I can only turn back the clock....to the time when I was still a young child.... I will not change a thing. If only for the second time around, feel her love, listen to the sermons, our long walks in Bel-Air, maramdaman uli ang "palo ng chinelas sa pwet" coz she doesnt want me to go to my friends house to attend a pool party, to see her happy face when I finished my college degree in USTE, when she visited me in US, and everytime I go home sa Silay.
I still think she just went to the market, and will be back again in a few.....
If ever, nanay....."I still like lumpiang sariwa from El Ideal for breakfast!"

And for my smarty ass cousin who insulted me by saying " Wa ay ka kabalo nga patay na si nanay mo," like I dont know what's going on.....the only thing that I can say is, which I have failed to tell you.....

"PUTANG INA MO!!!!

Thanks for flying *&^#@#@ Airlines

2005-07-17T21:33:00.000-05:00

I am so back, but has no energy to elaborate my so called "vacation." That was the first time of me coming home without my mom. Up until now, nothing had set in to my system. The blogging world is not a place for me to discuss on how I felt now that she is gone. I guess, I am not prepared for it yet....

Now back to my usual grip. Have you ever thought what airlines you would like to take when you want to go for a so called "safe" vacation trip? Have you ever thought what kind of crew you would encounter in this small enclosed space you called "airplane?" I haven't thought about it, until now.
I became an expert traveler. Attitude speaking, do not ever pissed off the "flip" attendants. I really don't know what the heck they are doing up on the air ( prestige maybe) but deng! Flips are short tempered. Wag mong uutusan ng basta basta na kuhanan ka ng tubig kahit nasisinok or nasasamid ka na and you're turning blue. Busy pa sila sa pinag kaka bisihan nila. You better not ask for additional soda ( for a big time soda drinker like me...I learned to bring my own soda)...dahil if they're serving juice and water, gadamit....para kang 6 yrs. old taking a breakfast forcing to drink juice even if it kills your stomach.( ANO! TUBIG OR JUICE? Ma'am, may I go out! I wanna wiwi!).
Insults???? You better not be a japanese who has limited knowledge of english lingo. This American attendant told this jap lady that she better take her own private jet after she asked for a switch because she is not comfortable sitting between two men. I was so shocked! Shocked?? Thats an understatement. I want to smack her `til she can drop fucking dead. Nakalimutan ata ng isang yon na if not for this "frequent flyer" tourists, walang kikitain ang company nila, baka kasama pa syang masisibak dahil mukha na syang uugod ugod!
Now to push the whole incident.....while at work I have encountered another SOB! Oh excuse me, another flight attendant that is way too drunk and way too belligerent at the hospital. On top of that, she and her friend was drinking in the room and just verbally abusive to the staff.
How would you like to fly in a confined space with this kind of people? Sige nga....I dare you to. I hate judging them because of their personality in and out of their work. But geez people, don't your company told you that you as their employee, you should maintain the integrity of your being. (as a Human being na matino....and not being an idiot. Being a wholesome human being, and not "WHOLEsama ng ugali mo meng!)
Tangneneng....I am flying home again. I am afraid for what I am going to encounter. This time, I need to shut my eyes, forget the whole thing ( I guess), and forgive me, again for the umpteenth million time.....I will rely my survival up on the air for some ample people who still thinks that their attitude, responsibility, and the manner they speak towards their passengers, will make me comfortable towards another long haul flight.

GoodBye `Nay

2005-06-20T08:35:00.000-05:00

I woke up today realizing that nanay is gone. For several days, I've been crying and was unable to work and sleep. As I torture myself to finish this blog for today, I just could not find myself pacified with whatever comfort I have right now. I wouldn't be here without her support. I could not find words to say how to describe her.
........it is against my will to go home and take you to your final resting place. I'd rather remind myself of your happy face when you saw me the last time I was back home....like when you are watching us soaked up in December rain.
Goodnight, nanay!

Discombobulate

2005-05-28T20:13:00.000-05:00

I'm having a brain dead moment. There are certain things in life that I still don't understand. One, why I remain stupify. Two, why I (sic) just simply don't get it. I'm probably what they call "mentally challenged" in medical world. In a nice way in my own dialect it'll be "kulang ang pag-iisip." In my own lingo and to the rest of the women out there......"ISA KANG TANGA!" These are the questions that boggles me. Why is it that certain men, are not satisfied with their own slice of cake, but instead, they want the entire piece. Or they just can't burn their freaking bridges. I'm good in burning my own bridge, kasama na ang small town that way there will be absolutely, zip, nada, communications. But hey, they know the ways on how to get on to your nerves and track you down, and trying to lure you back to them, and then, suddenly it'll hit them na..... "arrgghhhh, I can't decide, I need more time." I will give you more freaking time. You need space? I'll give you space, in fact I will give you the entire earth so you can have your fucking space. Space your face! I say one is enough, two is too much. You ask for it, DANG, you got it.
Alam mo, you have so much time in your hand..... so much, that you are not satisfied of what you have right now, instead, you found ways to make yourself more confused.
I am very sorry that it has to end this way......and that you made a fool out of yourself. I am sorry that we can't go back in time. We just got to move on.
I'm done with my crying spells.
I've completely totally accepted the whole fact that you are an........................."Idiot" and it has no cure for it. The sad part of this is that, you will actually breed, and that you will actually grow and multiply.
I'm done using this stage, and I have spoken.

HUH??!!! Ano ito?

2005-05-26T04:37:00.000-05:00

Only Love
Message:
I'm over you somehow
Only love knows how I have the strength to move on again...
The more you put me down'...Cause love knows how it gave me the strength to move on.
Spent so many days wondering what's my chances
I never thought I'd be alone.
When all I really needed was answers.
For the love that you've given to me. I was in need.
Where we are where we're at...
Boy I could not see every night that I cry,
I needed you here by my side.
But now I'm over you.
Had to use my mind,
Couldn't use my heart I didn't wanna see us apart.
This vision is so clear to me
That we were not meant to be
I couldn't see the desire inside
wouldn't let me be every night.
That I cry...I needed you here by my side.
But now I'm over you.
Life goes on until the new beginning.
Set me free from all of these feelings.
Now I can see that love's no guarantee.
That's why I hold it all inside of me only love knows how.....

dyek dyek....ano to? kanta ba to tula or isa na namang biktima.
05/28/05 edited version: langya ka dyek timely manner ang banat mo dito. dayum girl....I know you are reading my blog. Malunod ka sana sa pitshy pitshy at sapin sapin. Miss ko na talaga. Baka maligaw ako ng pilipinas....madaming kwento...kwentong kasagingan at kabaklaan at kung anu ano pa...you are not going to believe it. I promise I swing by and bigla na lang ako mag papatawag na naman ng EB. Hows July kaya for a rainy EB sa dampa Libis!

BH

2005-05-25T13:39:00.000-05:00

No its not about Broken Head or a Broken Hynie it's all about being broken hearted. A lot of people had been asking me how it feels like (how dare you to ask me noh... kala mo sa akin, expert na talaga....OO na, expert na nga!) to be in that situation. Man, it's gut wrenching ( sa kakasuka dahil hindi makakain) ulcerogenic, mass production of eye mo, with free eyebag on the side, a taste of a soda in a can with cigarette ashes (nakalimot akong natistisan ko pala ng abo ng sigarilyo ko eh) and feel ko I want to have an instant death . Kaya lang hindi ko kaya ang last part eh....instant death. Duwag ako.
I remembered the good `ol days ng malaman kong ang first love ko eh nakabuntis (he claimed a one night stand affair daw) after na hindi nya mahintay matapos ang bakasyon ko after board exam. A guy whom I cared so much tapos eh, nag bakasyon sa `pinas nakakita ng old crush dineny to death ako til well.....sila na. And so on and so forth and so forth and........
Naalala ko noon ng may nag sabi sa akin na....."kapag daw umuulan sa pinas, tanda daw ito ng pag iyak ng kalawakan kasama na rin daw ang pag palahaw nya." `Nak ng teteng george! Dinramahan mo pa ako. You are one son of a FART!
Sabi nga ng karamihan "Where did I go wrong?" Tanong ko rin sa yo ito, "saan nga ba ako nag kamali?" "Ano ang aking pag kukulang?" Bakit hindi ka makapag hintay sa time frame na binigay ko sa yo? Hindi naman ako nag bigay sa yo ng pag subok na kinakailangan mong makipag sapalaran pa o lulusutan. Pang unawa lamang ang aking hinihiling. Mahirap nga ba itong dinggin?
Ang lahat ng ito ay isang pag hihinagpis at itatago na lamang natin sya sa pangalang Brenda.......
Brenda Mage

DUH

2005-04-20T01:52:00.000-05:00

I am not a Monday person, and one thing that I hated most is to go to my work place and be pissed off.
For starters, as I was driving along I 35 (madami pong freeway ang Dallas) at around 11 am....this stupid driver who was driving a Sports Chedeng couldn't wait to get to his death, so he was swerving in and out of the freaking 3 lanes. Anyway, he was in front of me and probably driving 80 MPH when he switched his lane to the right, when he decided to go back because he never realized that the traffic is worse on that side (DUH). Now akala nya, because he was on a chedeng, it will protect him from a violent death...right? WRONG! DA AMF changed his lane again ( sa lane na occupied ko na) without signals, (nasa blindspot nya ako) and just pretending na wala ako doon. AND VOILA. Nag hihiyaw ang busina ko hanggang makalagpas ako sa tarantadong letcheng yon. OHH!!!! Im so livid. I never knew na masarap palang mag busina hanggang makalagpas ka doon sa binubusinahan mo at sasabayan mo pa ng irap....as in UMF ANTANGA TANGA MO!!!! I guess na realize nya yung gross mistake nya na he just slow down like a desert turtle. Kung namatay ako kahapon....ang swerte ng makakakuha ng life insurance ko! hehehehehehe.

My milk shake brings all the boys to the yard,and they're like,its better than yours,damn right its better than yours, I can teach you, but I have to charge. la la la la la la......

April Fools Move!

2005-04-01T06:14:00.000-06:00

Finally we will be out of this memorable apartment. So at this time...(anong oras na nga ba) we're packing, faxing, fucking, packing and blah...blah...blah....
I will be seeing you around peepholes.....I'll keep you posted.

And to my boss, who is always there when I needed him most......

Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if I never met you, because fifteen years down the line, I have never loved anybody else as much as I love you. I love you more than life itself.

Long Weekend

2005-03-22T06:15:00.000-06:00

I can't think of something funny today. Below is an email of a person I know.....masyadong masakit ang dating.....

Long Weekend...............
Posted by Eurydice (Thu Nov 06 2003 @ 04:59AM) views:
Is it okay if I call you mine?
Just for a time...
And I will be just fine
If I know that you know that I'm wanting
Needing your love....
If I ask of you is it all right
If I ask you to hold me tight
Through a cold dark night
Cause there may be a cloudy day in sight
And I need to let you know that I might
Be needing your love...
And what I'm trying to say isn't really new...
It's just the things that happen to me
When I'm reminded of you...
Like when I hear your name,
Or see a place that you've been --
Or see a picture of your grin,
Or pass a house that you've been in,
One time or another.
It sets off something in me I can't explain.
And I can't wait to see you again.
Oh, babe, I love your love...
And what I'm trying to say isn't really new...
It's just the things that happen to me
When I'm reminded of you...

Grabe babes! Long weekend na naman. Wala na atang katapusan ito. Dreaded days ko na ngayon ang tinatawag kong "long weekend." Dati rati, para akong hindi mapakali dahil unbelievable ang off ng 4_days_of_not_moving_a_single_muscle_in_my_bod 'ika nga. Now, its nakakainis_ang_haba_naman_ng off_mo_kelan_ka_babalik_sa_office moments na.

Ano ba itong nangyari sa akin....i haven't been (ever huh)like this in my entire life. Like, hindi mo naman ako nalilibre pa sa favorite fast food na hang out ko, pero bakit iba ang dating mo?

Paano nga ba tayo nag umpisang maging tayo na?

(I'm not going to blame the whole entire fact sa akin).

Eto ang sagot ko: KSP ka at masyado kang papansin, at HELLO!!! napansin kita. Letch na buhay to, sinusundan sundan mo ako na parang asong nakakagat sa saya ko.

Tahimik ang buhay ko ng bigla na lang nag buzz ka sa akin stating "adik!"

Napalingon ako sa likod (ako adik? baka meron pang iba ah....ay! wala na pala).

Sagot ko sa yo (in my own little text challenged ways~ two thumbs huh habang hinahanap ang letra),"AHA! na miss mo ako ano, ano miss mo na naman me.bleeee! buti nga sa yo , uuwi ka na. off pa den ako! Sabay halakhak na parang timang.

Tuloy na naman ang araw kong masagana sa shopping....

6 hours later....bigla ka na namang bumulaga sa msg bin ko.......

O:"wala ka ng pag-asa!"

E:"tungik nag sa sha shop lifting...este shopping ako!" (shet, pati buong word ng shopping nde ko ma spell sa cell phone ko)

O: "miss kita graba!"

E: "ipatunaw mo yang graba, baka me diamond ka pang makikita dyan."

O:sira, miss kita, grabe!"

E: "oh ok! sige na nga miss na din kita,sinabi mo eh! saka na tayo mag usap, nag pa park na ako ng kotse."

At ayun ka nga, patiently waiting for me. Nakakaloka huh. Pero sabi mo, sandali ka lang at "alam mo na......"

Lumipas pa ang madaming araw, wala na tayong ibang tinitingnan kundi ang "orasan" at ang "araw."

Dumating ang sandaling pinaparamdam mo sa akin kung gaano ako kahalaga sa buhay mo na sinabi mong "walang kwenta." Ngayon ang lahat sa iyo ay may kabuluhan na...."flowery" ang words na ginagamit mo....pati ang "TOWER" na inaakyat mo everyday ng rounds mo, iba na ang tingin mo. Sabi mo, " I will never look at this tower the same again." At pag nakausap kita, nararamdaman ko ang ambience ng paligid mo....ganoon ka mag describe....parang ang lahat ay "Heaven!"

Pilit mong gustong sabihin ang katagang yaon, subalit ako na mismo ang nag pipigil, sa dahilang, alam naman natin na wala itong kahihinatnan. Pero aray ko! Kumakawala talaga sa dibdib, bro!

Hanggang sa di sinasadyang pangyayari, nasabi mo sa akin na "Mahal na mahal kita." Kung bakit naman kasi itong teleponong hawak ko, walang mute at narinig mo tuloy ang sinabi kong, "you just don't know how much i have loved you." Shet sa earth! (ako ba yon!)

Naramdaman ko kung gaano ka kasaya ng araw na yon. But at the same time, the mere fact na "Opps, long weekend na naman," SUCKS!

So heto ako, can't wait to see you again, tagal ng 3 days ko meng! You just don't know.....Naalala ko tuloy na pinag kwentuhan natin ang mga favorite movies natin (palabas ang isa kasi ngayon eh!), yung tipong super emote talaga sya, nakasakay si "Francesca" sa sasakyan tapos hintay sya ni "Robert" in another car. Tipong ok, make a decision if you really wanted to run off with him. For the umpteenth million time na napanood ko itong "Bridges of Madison County," first time kong humagulgol at kulang ang tissue paper sa luha ko that I have to use paper towel na. Magang maga ang mata ko, deng(Naubusan pa naman ako ng pipino)!

Babes, ang dami nating "restless moments." Hindi ko na nga kaya eh....nasa second level na tayo ng relationship na tipong "walang iwanan at mahal na mahal kita kahit na anong mangyari pa."

Pero sa totoo lang, saan nga ba patutunguhan nito? Ilang minuto na ang nakakaraan ng huli tayong mag usap, filling the gap of what had happened to us during our long weekend, and what will be in store for us this coming days. Hindi ko na maisip, babes. Hindi ko na rin pati maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko. Parang Selecta Ice Cream na "halo-halo." Lahat na lamang ay dinadaan ko sa biro, pero manaka naka'y naririnig mo ang pag iyak ko at naririnig ko rin ang impit mong hikbi. (sabi mo kasi hindi bagay sa isang six footer na kagaya mo ang umiyak). Lalo na sa puntong mapapag usapan natin na "you are very much married and we can't do anything about this." Nasaktan ako ng sinabi mo na "ikaw lang nag papaligaya sa akin, at pag nawala ka, ang mga anak ko na lang ang mapapagkuhanan ko ng sigla." "BABES, alam mo bang mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal kita, at walang katapusan yon!" Hindi ako makasagot, instead, nag flush ako ng inodoro para hindi mo marinig ang palahaw ko. Hindi ko alam kung hanggang saan matatapos ang masarap na bawal na relasyon na ito ....na pag kaminsan ay.....naiisip ko......sana...... "long weekend na!"